Over the years, I have been labeled as one of the most controversial teachers in spirituality. I was here before the 2012 spiritual movement, working on my campaign to call the righteous, or those wanting to be righteous, to awakening. I gave the honest truth, and I did not sell anyone any dreams. People placed their trust in me, and rightfully so. In every person that I have worked with or come across, even those who declared themselves an enemy, I have loved them unconditionally. However, in the last decade, I have made many loyal friends. I have led many through better changes in their lives, and I have even inspired many of the newer teachers out there. I am not boasting, I am joyfully proud in a humble way, to have been a great service.
In my physical life, it was hard to make friends though. Either people hated me for absolutely no reason, jealousy, or just because…Or they loved me so much that they became attached, and even at times obsessed. I can not name how many girls dyed their hair blond, and started wearing white clothing and flower crowns after me. Some became so enamored that they even really truly believed that they were me. Some acted like me, and even went to the extent of saying they had similar things happening, that were all illusions of infactuation. I never know what to do in those cases. If I love too much, it encourages it. If I love too little, the infactuation turns into spite. So, I stay neutral. I am too kind to say anything really. I am truly proud to be a role model and I do not mind people taking after me, but not to the extent that they lose themselves.
I never could understand the enemy part though? I wondered why I even had them? I have only had the best interest out for others and gave them my time, my energy, my direct attention, and the nurturing that they lacked in life. Still, I have had some haters. It hurts. Enemies are made through many ways. One way that I noticed, was that some through their own ego had taken world wide messages that I posted for everyone to heart. That’s absurd! My material is only about life, lessons, God, the Angels, and my courses. If any post was felt specifically by an individual, perhaps that individual should’ve looked within. It has happened once or twice, but not often. Many have said that my posts have spoken to them directly though, and if they are growing and are aware enough spiritually, they will know that my posts, all of them, are meant for everyone. I have nothing against anyone, and I am addressing a wide audience of all ages, and genders, as well as beliefs. To think that in my busy schedule, that I sit and dwell on what another person does is proposterous. I am merely the messenger. Any material from my courses, posts, blogs, and readings are always channeled first. If people take the advice, then wonderful. I am proud and here to support them. If not, then that is okay. that is between them and their spiritual guides. I am here to support them either way. No judgement. Some have felt judged, but I know that deep down this is because they were afraid of what others thought of them. If anything that I have put online has spoken to someone, maybe that day it touched them because it needed to. No one has ever chastised me, or ridiculed me as a result. Most of the people who work with me, they know me better than that. Another way enemies were developed, was through competition. There is one spiritual guru who looks for all of my most viewed videos on youtube, and re-covers all of the poplular videos that I have made. There is another who steals my material and rewords it. I know who they are, and they know who they are too, and if anyone is familiar with my work, they will spot them too. Its all about fame to them obviously. Jealousy is ugly. But that is how it is, in a world that chases after fame only.
I do not know of many more ways that I have come to have enemies. I am aware of one more, which is the biggest one though, and this is the one that I am struggling with the most. I have had one heck of a hard time with it, that I needed to ask Heavenly Father for advice. In spirituality, I do not fit into any catagory. I use Christian based teachings as 84% of the world is Christian and I find more resonate with it, so I start from there. I have a deep respect for all religious beliefs. Yes, some hide things, and some hold people back from growth by concealing deeper truths, and many of them have some concept of control and structure. I have nothing against them, but in my own teachings, I know that it is through wisdom, selflessness, unconditional love, and unity, that one finds true awakening. Those who feel a connection to what I am saying, they find me. I do not go seeking people out. However, in my time of teaching, I have found enemies in organizations, politics, and religions. I never meant to. I only ever spoke the truth or what was on my mind, as we have freedom of speech do we not?
Nonetheless, I was hated due to their disbelief of me. Some hate me as they feel they have only “one” who can speak to spirit or to the heavens. Some hate me because I expose too much. there is truth scattered abroad online and in books, but in this… the information is still controlled and limited. It is a rabbit hole, to find the absolute. Instead of having to find piece after piece, I try to teach my my people the whole picture in easy terms. I let them learn at a pace that is right for them. Some are meant for it, some are not. Nonetheless it is available to anyone who takes interest. Still, there are some who are wide spread and well put together, that want me out of the way altogether.
If you follow me, then you already know of the hard time that I have had… If not, let me remind you. Since childhood, I have had interdimensional spies,. then there were physical representatives of churches who had come into my life. When I started my work, I had spyware placed in my home, choppers flying overhead, and some stalking, but more so remotely. By 2016, it all got worse. I had people repeatedly sitting on my website, and they were not clients at all. they all came from the same locations worldwide near very specific churches. Then, we had people taking pictures of us out front of our home, while on a stroll, and even at the store. After, we had cars that came every night at the same time and sat behind or home in the empty parking lot behind my house. Sometimes, they came alone, at other times, they traded places, and at others…they would all arrive at the same time and si tthere just watching. It even got so bad that someone stood in my backyard watching, and as I leaned in to look better, they chased after me plowing my entire fence over, as they came at me. That continued for months. Now, we have the same website stalking, and the same caravans of people behind the house. My family was skeptical, but it is so obvious now that they can not deny that there is something happening.
In the middle of all of this, I have had people who were associated in all of this come into our groups on Facebook as friends. I knew. But I still walked into it, to watch, to get more answers, and to see how they worked. I never thought that my group would add them though, as I thought maybe they would be more leery. But like me, they are accepting and loving, and without my prompting, they will assume that its a good person there to elarn with them. Not anymore.They are all aware now, and not taking risks. Still, I went on investigations of my own, and I admit, I wanted answers, but I can not help but try to understand everyone, love everyone, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That is who I am. If I see some light left in someone of that the wrong that they are doing is being done in belief that it is for the right cause, I will try to fix things. I try to let the people see me for who I am, and to give them true unconditional love. If that does not change their mind towards me, Then I wil give up. I will leave in the hands of the Creators.
Still, it is hard. All of this is still happening even as we speak. Many may chalk this all up to paranoia, but I have witnesses and I have taken all of my own evidence to professionals whoagree that I am being gangstalked. I feel like there is no way to turn, left or right. So in this, I asked heavenly father this morning, what do I do about the situation. I asked:
My Conversation with the Lord”
“Dear Father in heaven, forgive these people for they truly do not know what they do. They do not truly believe in me,a dn that is okay, but they do not have the right to attack me or try to harm me in any way, not in my business or work for you, not in my name or reputation, not in my teachings or beliefs. Yet still Father, they try, and many come disguised as friends. I feel like there is always some wolf roaming about in my flock of gentle sheep so to speak. I love everyone, but yet others seek to hurt me in their own means. What do I do”?
“Child, fret not. For I AM here. A wolf amongst your sheep little shepherd? Indeed. Truly, I say unto you, you are the head of the sheep, but still an ewe yourself. For you are one of mine, in my flock still, only there to lead everyone who is willing…back to the rest of the herd. What does a smart Ewe do, when there is a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Do they run about confused, alarmed, and not knowing which way to turn like the rest of the sheep?Will they put on a wolf’s clothing, this way the wolf thinks it instead to be one them, to instead confuse the wolf and not be harmed? No. Verily, I declare this…. It will do neither. Instead, it will put on the clothing of a bear. It will stand its ground, defend and protect, if not to scare the disguised wolf off, but to at least show its cleverness and wit.this tells the wolf that it can be outsmarted, and that the Ewe is just as wise. That the Ewe will never be without answer or back down. That is what it will do. However, not many Ewe know to do this. While many of my sheep are being hered into the wrong directions, they all seek love, and a friendship with me. Some even in the least, just want answers. You though…. you must be there to put on any disguise as well, ready for any skin of shield of armor to cover you, in order for you to assist those whom I have shephered your way. In these words, you will find my answer and my most wisest advice.”
I sat in contemplation of the message in the form of a parable, that I recieved this morning. After I had thought about it, it made perfect sense. He is right. I need to not fight fire with fire, so to speak. If a wolf who is lurking hidden sees another wolf ( a sheep disguised as a wolf) it will think it strong enough with an allie to attack. Or it will think that with two there, that the flock of sheep was tricked and with the advantage…it will only attack faster and harder. But if the wolf sees the sheep disguised as a bear, it will beintimidated at the sheer size of the bear and it will think that the sheep have a biger allie that is enemy to the wolf. It will know that it does not stand a chance. And then, the sheep in the bear’s disguise, needs to do nothing, except wear the disguise itself. He is always smarter than I. I am grateful to having heavenly Father, Metatron, and Michael in my life for their guidance. Now, I know that no matter what to show strength. Even in the face of defeat. I also discovered many in which I can not truly trust, even though I already knew this, I still wanted to try, maybe through love, devotion and honesty they could learn to be less about themselves, and more for the greater good? But still, in this world fame means more to some than love, or real friendship. I am still here though as that is the true angelic way. I thank the heavens everyday for their help. I see much, although recently there was so much deception and it was unbelievable, that my heart could not fathom it, or at least did not want to. Heavenly father says to continue to love still. And I will, in hopes all do what is right. Thank Lord for the parable, as it taught me great wisdom.
Spiritually Awkward 