I find myself having to remind people at times that I am not only a psychic but also a counselor and a minister. While I am those things too, I learned from the best. I have had our higher plane, teaching me and schooling me on the make up of one’s blueprints. Therefore, it has given me extensive knowledge and the set up of consciousness. That also means that I know very deeply how it works while operating a physical vehicle. I am constantly reading into people. I usually know what they’re up to, and where they’re coming from in their tactics. Toxic people, are people that I have come across quite frequently.
There are many types of toxic people. The worst kind are those who hide it behind the disguise of a smile. What is a toxic person to begin with though? Well firstly, a toxic person is somebody that believes in negative fact in some way shape or form, on other people. Where in example peers that tried to mislead their friends into harmful activities, are considered to be toxic. People who are psychologically toxic are the most dangerous of all though. Anyone who hurts you in any way, or leaves a long lasting negative affect on you, is considered toxic. Toxic people, our people who are usually not only toxic to others, but they are also toxic to themselves. I have had my share of toxic people in my life. My experiences with them, whether it be personally, or professionally, have always showed me that they are psychologically disturbed people usually themselves. I have a great love for all people. And that’s why I choose to work with people in this line of work. I take them on as clients try to help them improve their quality of life, which then in turn helps them improve the quality of the lives of those that they love too. However, it’s a hard process to even get people to realize that they’re toxic, because half of the time they don’t really see it themselves. A lot of the times, toxic people will have a negative outlook on life, in which they feel like it’s everybody else’s fault except their’s. It is a form of psychological and emotional manipulation, only the manipulator does not always realize that they are doing it. They seriously feel, that their thoughts are justified. It is hard to speak to those people, because you will tell them how they hurt you, but they do not see how. They argue, justify their actions, turn their behavior back onto you, making it all your own fault. Even for those that you can show them an example that wakes them up to how they are being, the next day they just simply go back to their ways, acting as if the day before had not even happened. Or, they will change fro a week or two, and then they go right back to their hurtful demeanor.
However, it may not be so, some want to change but do not know any other way. I have many examples I will give you later on. For now let’s take a look what the signs are, that someone is toxic. And, let us learn how to cope with them.
Signs that someone is toxic:
- They lie and are so genuine at it, that you believe them, only to find out that it was a lie. They seem to be so believeable. However, your gut instinct says something is not right.
- They seem to only talk about themselves when you speak. Even during times that you have a crisis, the conversation always goes back to them, their issues taking precidence.
- They milk you for whatever you can offer. This means always asking for money, your time, transportation, and someoen to listen to them complain to have someone validate them.
- They try to convince you that you are in the wrong, even when you know that you are not.
- They like to use blackmail. Threats of suicide, using things that you love against you, or threatening to use situations, information, objects, people, or the past against you to keep you in the situation.
- They seem nice, understanding and trusting at first, but later on you start to see them use secrets and conversations as a way to make you feel small, or to manipulate you.
- They ignore you when they’re life is going fine, but when a crisis appears for them, all of a sudden you are expected to drop everythign to be there for them.
- If you do not do something for them, or if you are not there when they need you, you are suddenly a bad person or “You have never done anythign for them” even if you have bent over backwards for them.
- They may belittle you, or point out your flaws, make jokes about them or specifically focus on your passions, dreams, beliefs, or interests to drop their opinion or poke fun.
- You can never seem to do right in their eyes.
- They repeatedly do things that they know are hurtful to you.
- They speak negatively about you behind your back, try to get others to dislike you, or force their opinion of you onto others, especially those closest to you.
- They try to gain trust of those around you so that when they do your wrong, your closest friends or family seem to take their side.
- They play on your vulnerabilities, knowing your soft spots…they will bring them up at the worst time to make you feel worse.
In spiritual communities:
Toxic people are people who do a lot of projecting. There are even spiritualists who are very toxic. Some of them speak up really badly about others, all in the name of trying to build their own reputation and diminish someone else’s. I have seen many spiritualists talking about one another pretty negatively. Firstly, nobody is in the right to judge. It is between that person and their maker. Secondly, if a spiritualist has to badmouth, or implant negative ideas about another teacher, just to build their own reputation, then that’s definitely a red flag to begin with. I also notice some who enter inner circles of a teacher and reader, to lure their friends into becoming clients ever so subtely. It is important to know that the person you are putting you personal hidden secrets into their hands for a reading (if they are real) that they are not a negative, or scheming person. Be aware of this with regular friends that you make too! Be careful with who you share with, especially spiritualists because if they are a true reader, they could manipulate you. I see someone out there right now who feels a need to bad mouth a fomer teacher of theirs, to try to build up their own career. And this individual is not psychic at all. Somehow, they befiended them, stole their teachings, and tried to train as a psychic. Modeling themself after another person is not honest to begin with. Then when the teacher did not tell them what they wanted to hear once, they set out to destroy them. It is really sad that we as people, especially spiritualists, can not help support one another? It has to be a battle instead? Look for honest people in your life, whether spiritually or in your pesonal life. People who can gossip or speak ill of someone, are not trustworthy. they are good at petending to be a friend but are quick to knife you in the back. Some have said that I am competitive and that is far fom true. I only ever wanted people who wanted to learn and grow, to be upfront and honest with me, and with others as others do not deserve to be lied to. If you are not psychic, I will not vouch for you. I will support anyone who is upfont, and anyone who has a gift for real, and who only has good intentions. I was also accused of using mind contol on people. That was the funniest thing that I have ever heard in my life. I am constantly trying to teach people how to look out for mind control, teaching what to look for, how to break from it, so how much sense does it make for me to teach that, and have the chance of outing myself? It doesn’t make sense. Everyone will tell you, I am the most honest, giving and loving person. If another upcoming spiritualist has to steal information, clients, or bad mouth someone else to grow int heir career, then that is not a healthy spiritualist to go to. Look for goodness, honesty, and someone who cares about others. Unconditionally. This is your soul that is being tampered with when you go to another reader or healer. But what about people in your personal life? My goodness, spirituality is not a competition, and you know, some have even tried to send me bad energy and curse me, even while saying that they were my friend, as if I would not know?
In Regular Life Examples:
With people in your life outside of spirituality, you want to be on the look out for people who typically have a lot of negative things to say, that are untrue to and about the others that they project at, but true about themselves. There have been multiple instances, where I have seen very toxic people, deliberately dropping small negative hints indirectly that are very well untrue, all in the name of in planting negative perceptions and others. Watch out for gas lighting. Gas lighting is where someone tells you eveything that you want to hear, they agree with you in everything, they act as if they are so much like you, to get close to you. They almost always have a hidden agenda though. If anyone seems too good to be true, it is 100% certain, that they are too good to be true. Archangel Baraqiel told me when I was a kid, that if someone out there is far too nice, then it is because they are hiding something. I am an angelic soul, so I am virtuous, loving, too accepting, passive and always sacrificing myself for others. I almost did not believe the messenger at the time, because I am far too nice myself. I thought, “I am overly kind, polite, and giving, and I am not fake, hiding anything, or out for anything”. But, you can not always judge others through yourself. He was right. I saw that in my life, and in my work, that many who came off too perfect, or projecting that they were so much like me… that they had ulterior motives. I had seen those motives and their true colors, but being who and what I am, I try to see only the good and hope to assist in inspiring them to change the bad. I always hope that once someone gets to know me and experiences the pure love, that they will have a change at heart. Not always the case. People lack empathy in this world today, and once there is a goal in mind that benefits them, they will do whatever is best for them over the feelings of other people. Many of them, were too good to be true, and used this tactic of being perfect or similar, to make a connection or build trust so that they can get closer to you for whatever their goal is, and you would be surprised how simple their need is, underneath of things. Espcially when it comes to relationships. that is called “masking” and many people do it. Even naturally without intentions, like how you see people make themselves to appear perfect on social media most times. They use photoshop, and project only good things, even false lives. I use a filter here and there myself, but never to totally distort what I look like. And anyone who knows me will vouch that I live as I say, and I am as I appear. Nevertheless, some feel it is impotant to mask. not saying that the people who do that online are toxic (some very well could be, I mean why hide or give an illusion anyhow?) but truly toxic people can keep masking going, for however long it takes to get what they need in their relationship with you. Most of them cave and show their true colors eventually, but even after they slip up, the act will go back on.
You also want to be aware of people who spread their negativity on purpose. There is a difference between people who need help and are asking for it, but when it is constantly being thrown at you, then there may be a reason behind it, to bring you down. I know a person who has a boyfriend who is always making up negative stories about his life, to gain sympathy and attention so that the girl can not focus on other things. It distracts her from her goals because he is always bringing her down. She is there for him, but in truth, it is overwhelming to her. I have counseled her many times, but these types of toxic relationships become controlling. The negativity becomes a ball and chain, because she feels so bad leaving him, due to his always having issues, she said that she would feel guilty to leave him in a bad place. but the truth was, most of it was made up anyhow and she is right where he wants her to be. toxic people also turn their own opinion of themselves, onto others. You will find yourself being accused of being a certain way, that really is a trait of the person accusing you. That again is called “projecting”. they will be so good at making you feel as if you truly are, they way that they say when in fact it is a characteristic of themselves in which they are accusing you to take the attention off of themselves. I had that happen recently. I ran into a toxic person who believed many illusions and somehow would not accept that I merely not interested in a personal relationship with them. As a result, this angered them. I was told that we were so much alike, that we were reflections of each other, and the individual studied me enough from my online work to have some ammo to use in order to give the illusion that they were similar in traits and wisdom as me.
However, they do not know me, and having the wrong intention and illusions to go with it, they read into any thing that I had said and made it what they wanted it to mean, for their own gratification. As a psychologist and a psychic, I already analyzed them to be competitive, not to mention that they had outright told me that they were going to do some things that would had put them into a compeititve situation knowing that it hurt my feelings, all out of spite. I saw that they were the type of person to push and push themselves at someone if they did not get a response that they wanted, or at least a response at all. I foresaw hot and cold communication coming in the future, and I surely did not need the negativity especially since I did not want to be involved in the first place, I was merely trying to be a friend and support system. Still, the contact came, sometimes nice, and sometimes harsh. There were times that they were attacking, and then times that they were apologetic. Yet, I stayed quiet. But, I was accused of having a shadow self! LOL! I was told that I was the type of person, that they actually were! And you know what? for a spilt second (I didn’t believe it) but I did stop for a second to ask myself why they were saying that they saw those negative things in me? I could not allow someoen to try to get into my head. I wished them well in prayer and made a vow to not communicate. As a professional, bounderies were being overstepped.
Toxic people do not care about the other person. They only think of themselves. These are the type of people that once they have an opinion or thought about something, they sell them let go of it. And they will push and push till everyone is on the same page. And they do it very cleverly, because most of them are actually hidden narcissists. They want to come off if they are the kindest of people. But the truth is, they have a much more hidden agenda. And that is to control your thoughts without your even realizing it. They oppose most of what you are saying or feeling, and make themselves valid. You can recognize toxic people in those who fit the traits in the beginning of this article but also if it is discreet enough, you can judge by your own feelings after having been around them, because alot of them have natural psychic vampire-like tendencies.
Do you feel tired around them or after having had interaction with them?
Do you feel lower about yourself?
Do you feel like you need to question yourself?
Do you feel confused or mixed up in your gut instincts about them or things that they say?
Do you feel not good enough suddenly or like the person seems to dominate you?
Those emotions could indicate a toxic person, or then again those emotions could reveal your own insecurities. It is tough to tell, unless you incorporate the list of traits from the beginning of this article. That is a way to be sure. With all of this information, toxic people are hard to let go of, but you have to say good bye to them. If not, it becomes harder and harder to let go. Even when you are not needed anymore, you will be used and held on stand by for when something comes up, and you deserve better than that. If you need help, contact me.
We are also doing a challenge in my Facebook group for life coaching, and it includes this subject and an exercise. Email for details or head on over to Spiritually Awkward the group, on FB.