The people that we meet in life will be of all types of characters who all have different perceptions, needs, attributes, and flaws. Working with so many, I hear all kinds of experiences, and I can tell you… relationships are no less than hard when it comes to trying to have good ones. Most people think conditionally. Most of the time they have a reason as to why they are investing time into someone. Everyone has one expectations in others that they come to connect with. Even at times without realizing that they have those conditions. A good example if you will…

Solely for me….

There was a woman named Monique who started going to a depression support group which was being run by a woman named Carla. Carla put the group together under her therapy license and felt it would be good for her to use the time helping others to take her mind off of things. She had experienced a loss in her family at the beginning of the year and now six months later, she felt that she could try to let go and concentrate on making others feel better.

Monique and Carla had started out as just acquaintances but talking and texting outside of group, they became friends. Carla would always ask Monique to come by for company as she was lonely, but Monique always told her that she was busy. She hadn’t been. Any excuse that she told her had been a lie. She just didn’t have any plans. She just didn’t want to go out. However, Monique always called Carla . Every time something had happened that upset her, Monique would reach out to her therapist friend Carla. Upon realizing that she talked about herself quite a bit and that Carla stayed quiet and only ever did just listen… She felt badly and told Carla that if she ever needed to talk, that she would be there for her just as much as Carla had been there for her.

As time progressed, Carla started to feel as though she didn’t really have a real friend in the world. She didn’t expect anything from anyone. In fact she was a giver. But it would’ve been nice to have people actually show that they cared about her in someway. And so she isolated a bit and when it came time for the next monthly group, Carla issued an email notification that she was canceling it. But Monique had also been going through a great deal of depression and without her therapist fun to talk to you lately, she was really looking forward to that support group. She was a little angry at Carla for not keeping in touch to begin with, but when she found out that the support group to have been canceled… She called Carla up just give her a piece of her mind. She told her that she was very upset that she had canceled the group and that she didn’t think that Carla realized just how many people really needed that group. She told her that she couldn’t think of any reason that was good enough in her eyes that Carla would have canceled such an important and much needed tool for a lot of depressed people.

Finally, Carla kindly came out with the truth. She told Monique that she had been having some troubles of her own. She told Monique that she didn’t mean to hurt anyone by canceling the support group. It was only that she needed some time to work some things out within herself. Monique told Carla that she was selfish and that was the last that they spoke. Carla never answered the phone for Monique again and she canceled the support group permanently.

Expect Not

When you have people in your life, you will be in a position to always give. But the problem is, is that many people expect to receive back, what they’ve given in the same way from those individuals. That’s not really how it works though. You can’t have specific expectations. You’ll get back with you given to others through other people throughout time. You have to have a level of acceptance in the fact that everyone will give what they want to, or what they can. Everybody is different. However if you have a situation where it is only a one-way street overall, then that person isn’t the true definition of a loved one. That’s a person who has conditions and their own interest at heart.

The point is, everybody will give in their own way. What you have given, always comes back to you just through different situations and people. But here’s something to think about. How much easier is it to do for the people that do for you? Then it is do for those that do nothing for you at all? Jesus says to do want to others as you would have them do you want to you. But he doesn’t mean to help them in the expectations of receiving back from the same people, the same way. What do you means is that you have to treat other people the way you desire to be treated and that means even with others that do nothing for you at all. And that’s because he knew that karma comes in good ways and bad. In a good way, your karma will come back to you for the good things you’ve done through other individuals that you come across when you are in a time of need. They’ll help you just like you helped the other person. It comes back to you when you need it most.

Keep helping others. But if there are situations in your life like what Carla experienced, it may be best to cut the ties. A form of manipulation is when a person takes and takes and puts you down when they aren’t able to get from you anymore. Giving in your life should bring good things back to you in many ways. Loved ones will give in their own ways. Anyone who doesn’t try to help you in any way, is using you.