It’s always been a cherished family tradition for us to dress in full costumes for Halloween, ever since I was a little girl. My father started the custom—fall was his favorite time of year, and his costumes were always unforgettable. He’d go all out as a wild werewolf, his facial hair perfect for the look, and he made every Halloween magical.
Our family has always been close—Mom, Dad, me, and, when we were lucky, a few brothers who would visit. Later, my own children joined in, and we did our best to brighten one another’s lives since we were all each other had. My mom, though, wasn’t into decorating for Christmas or holidays in general, and she didn’t enjoy cooking for them either. I’m not saying that to criticize—just sharing how things were. Because of that, I always got extra excited when Dad was involved, because he would go all out.
One year, he dressed me as the Wicked Witch of the West, painted green from head to toe. That remains the best Halloween costume I’ve ever had. Before that, Mom would walk me around the block for trick-or-treats, dressing me as a little hobo instead of a costume. I do remember once dressing as Madonna in the 80s once, but that’s about all I recall.
Most Halloweens I’d throw something on and call it a costume, but my father truly made that one year special. Truly, I only want my kids to have everything that I never did. 
I’m a psychic, and I do enjoy some horror, though I’m not into gore or serial killers. My father loved horror movies, and I remember being around six when Friday the 13th came out. We lived in a two-story apartment, and I was terrified Jason Voorhees would break through my window. He hadn’t even planned to scare me, but I caught glimpses and had nightmares, so I’ve never been drawn to the gory side of Halloween.
The Lord has always reminded us that this season is about harvest, gratitude for the year’s blessings, and remembrance of those who are no longer with us. That perspective has guided me through the holidays. When my father grew ill, he could do less, but we still kept the tradition alive in spirit. My son Noah got his own tradition going of horror-inspired costumes, trying to top his grandpa, though not always successfully. He’d dress as a clown to tease me, though I know it’s all in fun and in honor of the memories we share.
Noah has grown into an adult, and time has flown. For his last Halloween, Alexander wanted to do it with him. Noah found the Killer Klowns from outer space game on his Xbox and has been hooked ever since. Noah told Alex about Killer Klowns from Outer Space, a movie that shaped my fears as a child.
He found the new video game adaptation and both boys loved watching my reactions. 
For the past couple of years, Alexander has allowed me to dress him in adorable outfits, first a teddy bear, then a vampire, and even a Ghostbusters getup. This year, he wanted to outdo his big brother.
Alexander decided he wanted to dress as a killer clown from that movie and game, to connect with his brother and honor our family history. I hesitated, given what the costume represents, but I allowed it for one year because this would be a special moment before Noah passes the torch to Alexander. I bought the Shorty Klown costume for him, and I hoped it would be a meaningful experience for all of us.
Alex literally planned this all year!
At the last minute, Noah changed his mind about what he wanted to be, leaving Alexander to face the clown idea alone. It broke his heart a bit that his big brother bailed. Noah will still trick-or-treat, but he chose a different theme with Lindsey this year. I won’t lie, the moment stung a little, because I think it’s wrong to break a child’s trust. Still, I believe Noah learned from it, and he apologized. Still, Alex was heart broken. I prayed to the Lord to cheer him up.
Then something magical happened. I asked the Lord for guidance, and we visited a haunted attraction. Surrounded by people in freaky clown makeup, Alexander found joy and encouragement from the actors who admired his bravery. He even won a contest for his costume. A separate event at a trampoline park featured Adriel and Alexander in their costumes, and Alexander’s Killer Clown look placed first. It felt like a reconciliation of hearts, even if Noah’s path was different.
This year, Alexander has taken the lead as the family’s new star—his costume is the scariest in our clan, and he earned a prize for it. While I might not be fond of the killer clown idea, I’m grateful for his courage and his deep love for me, keeping Dad’s memory alive. I wish he’d chosen a different theme, but I understand why he did it, and I’m glad he wanted to honor our family’s history.
I do worry slightly about the space clown concept—imagery of monsters that look like clowns, with a movie that once frightened me as a little girl. But seeing Alexander’s heart and his desire to make me happy reminds me that the best part of Halloween is family, celebrating together, supporting one another, and keeping our loved ones close.
My two youngest children, Adriel and Alexander, are filled with love and goodness, and I’m deeply grateful for them. Adriel even had a hopeful moment when God answered her wishes on her paper airplane, that brought us luck.
All in all, even though Noah’s choice wasn’t very thoughtful, I’m grateful that everything turned out beautifully for Alexander. He bounced back from being let down by his big brother, drew praise from many horror fans, and even won the prize. He put so much thought and heart into it, and he truly deserved the positive recognition and love it brought him.
Love you Dad, you are missed in every moment. Yet, you are still here with us.😇
Spiritually Awkward 