“Gold is the color of friendship, divinity, joy, clarity, and strength. Family should be led entirely on these things”.Alura Cein
If you are trying to have a good family, then applying the virtues is also a good way of ensuring a happy family life. Divinity should always be the foundation of your family life because is from the divine that your values and morals are rooted. Some of them include having mental clarity, strength, perseverance, endurance, love, charity, humility, generosity, patience and understanding.
Courage with divinity as your inspiration, should be your motivator at all times to walk your pathway as a family in those virtues. That is because it takes courage to begin with, to always exhibit them.how many of you have endured time and time again that one family member that incessantly gets on your nerves? Come on, every family has one. Think about the typical American family. I’ll provide for you an example of a family that I once knew.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your own family, friends family, or your in-laws. It takes a great deal of strength to have to persevere through the ups and downs that each individual relative will bring. I have taught my students time and time again that you can’t make people be, as you want them to be. You can only hope but you can’t expect. Having expectations means that you have conditions.but as you know love it’s truth for must be unconditional. However, it is very hard to cope with relatives that sometimes don’t make it as easy as they could.
There are all different types of characters in a family. Many people in the family will have disagreements and bump heads. Right now at the moment in the world, families are very estranged during these days due to technology. Like I’ve taught my students many times before, being alone and isolated while looking at social media all of the time tends to draw a person into a self-absorbed bubble. Many times a relative may be calling them from another room and they’ll snap at them in response, because they don’t want to be bothered. They’re alone in their own thoughts and drifting into them so much so, that they’d rather stay there than be bothered with reality or every day life. They don’t want to be bothered by even their own loved ones.
There are a lot of times that there is a lack of patience even with parents in their parenting. I have toddlers myself, and so I find myself teaching other parents that it’s important to have perseverance and patience. Children are learning and their attention spans are very short. You’ll tell the child know about something one minute and they listen as you explain “why” and then they will stop, only just to go right back to doing it a few minutes later because they forgot what you said before. They have to have constant redirection. For change and growth, your thoughts need that same redirection. And that’s because just like children who need to be redirected and patterned, for a new way of thinking you have to have the same method. But alas, while I patiently guide my children over and over again even in the same situation hundreds of times a week, other parents wouldn’t be able to handle that. They would have yelled at them or disciplined them the first time, rather than gently explaining why they shouldn’t touch some thing or get into something. Authority only creates fear though. Love and wisdom and creates compassion and gentle kindness.
I think relationships are also very difficult. Men and women often have very different minds. Women think with their hearts whereas men think logically. Women are more intuitive rather than men who are realistic and do things according to what’s proven and is known to work. There are a lot of times when women really want affectionate moments of love and compassion, but their significant other doesn’t know that they need to provide it. There are many times they don’t even know when is a right time to provide it. Women are very complicated creatures that’s for sure . And that’s because of their emotions which create a lot of insecurities. It’s the same even in same-sex relationships as well. There are a lot of times that one person is more passive whereas the other is more aggressive. Unbalanced, these two different personality types are going to get into a lot of arguments. Still relationships are complicated as a topic just by itself. Siblings often have a lot of rivalry or competition too. There are a lot of reasons as to why siblings argue and fight.
Whether it’s your own family that you live with or your in-laws… There will always be someone who is to directly spoken. There will always be that one person that’s too much in your business. There will always be that one person that has the ability to help but doesn’t want to. Then there will always be that one person that wants to help even though they can’t. There will be relatives that sparked rumors and deny them. There will be relatives that start rumors and admit to them while putting you down in your face. There are many who don’t want to put up with each others issues and so they throw their hands in the air easily. Then there are relatives that just stay away all together, so that they don’t have to walk away at all. In any case whether you have wonderful relatives or difficult ones, it’s still remains the same that there will always be hard times and good ones in a family. There will be great moments of joy end of suffering. But the foundation of family life should always be anchored into the teachings of heaven. If you apply the virtues you will get along with your relatives, and you’ll be guaranteed a much better life and relationship with them. This means being forgiving and patient with them when they’re going through difficult times. This also means to be patient and listen when they speak as they may not always come off great way the first time. It also means to help when you can and always put in 100%.
Someone always told me that I was too loving and too forgiving. Well that’s the idea of applying heavens teachings! As an angelic I wear my heart easily on my sleeve and I always give people repetitive chances. That’s because I know that in time with love, and a good person standing by them, anybody has ability to change. The change takes time.
I’ve also been told that I allow a lot of people to walk all over me.I’ve been told that instead of just going a mile with my family members, I often go 10 miles. But isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for your family? This is how everyone should be toward one another family or not. Jesus or as I call him Yeshua, was a great teacher. He taught that if someone asks you to go a mile, then you should go two. If they ask for your coat, they take it off, give it to them plus the undergarment to. You can’t just tell somebody to keep warm and not offer them a coat or to tell them to keep dry in the rain and not give them an umbrella? What I’m saying is that you have to go 100% in when it comes to family.
Today’s family is full of relatives who put everything on one another. They feel that this is one person‘s job or that it belongs to another. When asked to do anything they often get an attitude and easily irritated. And again that’s because of social media and how easily everyone is slipping into earthly patterns and habits in life. Remembering to be virtuous would create the attitude of telling the person asking for help that they’re happy to do so and that they’re there to accommodate them with whatever else that they need. That’s being loving. Not to argue the point or to deny that it’s their job at all, even if it’s not. Yes, offering to do it anyway shows family support. But yet it’s hard for family members even do simple tasks for each other anymore. If it cuts into their time or energy or even their financial pocket, family doesn’t really want to stand by their relatives anymore. But a loving family would. They would give their last five dollars to help their relative, and they would rush out to assist them when bringing in groceries or carrying of laundry, even if it had nothing to do with them at all. Or if they are vacuuming their own bedroom, to run the vacuum through the whole house for everybody. These are a little things that mean the world to the people that you live with believe it or not. Even if someone else has trash duty and you see it sitting there, just pick it up and throw it out. It doesn’t really matter whose job it is great if you see it and you know the persons not there or they’re busy, help them out. Families don’t want to work together though. And that’s why it takes a great deal of courage and strength to restructure your family based upon the golden rules. The most infamous golden rule is that of, treat others as you would wish to be treated. That means always keeping in mind that whatever you’re going to say, that you should ask yourself if it is something that you would feel hurt by? Some thing that you’re about to do, ask yourself if it is something that would agitate you? The golden rule really helps in keeping stability in families. It takes a lot of courage to do so. Of course you’re going to have a little bit of a rift while trying to gain cooperation. But once everything comes together in terms of everybody playing an active role in the family, you’re going to see such a major turn around.
Family will act loving, and help each other out when needed. To be forgiving of their shortcomings (even if horrible at times), and to not speak badly about one another behind each others back will create peace. Listening to your relative when they have something to say and to hold off on arguing also helps and shows concern and consideration. You should make it a point to make their feelings and thoughts valid but also explain a little bit more deeply on where you’re coming from at the same time. All of these things would make life easier in the path of a family life.
Pay attention to the joys over negative things that happen in your family. Focusing too much on the hardships will create depression and everybody in the family will feel it. If even one person in your family feels depressed, their mood and character will change because of it. Everybody will feel it…believe it or not. Try to stay upbeat and talk things out instead. Focus on the positive things in your blessings. If there are hardships in the family, sit down and talk about it as a family. If you’re having difficulties with each other, sit down and talk about them too. Allow each person to speak without cutting in, or getting offended. Try to see from their perspective and stand point. Feel what the other person is saying. If they say something that seems offensive, ask what they mean. More than likely, how they’re saying it isn’t how they mean to come off. A lot of people when expressing themselves don’t always know how to word it right the first time. Give them a chance to explain. Pray together pray together as a family too. When two or more pray for the spirit of God, it’s more present. I’m sure many of you have heard that saying too. It is true. All of you together being happy and upbeat, working together with compassion and love, and thinking virtuously with God on your mind, can create a positive cloud of consciousness in your environment together.
Another thing is that you have to show your family that you love say that you care about them and leave them all alone to work through things when they get into a pickle. You can’t tell them that you care about them and not help them when they’re asking is because we thing is inconveniencing you. If you love your family, and then they come first. I mean if you head situation I feel bad about not being able to help at all. But if you know you could do it. Your family will always remember the kind things that you do for them. Don’t think that it’s not your job to do this or it’s not your business. Always remember that everything that all of you do in a family, affects one another too. Even if you can’t see it clearly.
Believe me, everything that each family member does, comes back into the household eventually. Help one another without pride.
Help them out from your heart and even when you don’t feel like it. help them even if they have been jerks to you in the past, having denied you help when you’ve asked. It doesn’t matter what anyone does or doesn’t do for you. Humility is about being compassionate, and generous without anything in mind to expect later from it. You may not get their help the same way from them in return. But heavenly father sees your actions from his post beyond this world. He will always reward you in the way that you need most in your life. Only… your life may be too preoccupied or busy or loud for you to see those blessings in your life. Look for his grace in every day life around you. God does help you in mysterious ways, and even in the direct ways that you especially ask for. Being virtuous and loving, considerate, compassionate, and helpful, that is the way to a happy family.
I wish you the best of luck in trying to restructure your family based on the virtues. It isn’t easy and you may not find a lot of cooperation from everybody to begin with, but it’s worth a try. You also have to keep in mind that perseverance is going to be one of the biggest Virtues that you’ll need for this. And that’s because even for those that do give it a try, you may find that they fall backwards over and over again. It’s all about just showing them a better way with lots of love, so that the love is enough motivation by itself to keep them wanting to continue to help you build.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”Jesus
2 thoughts on “Shaping a Virtuous Family: Part One”
Thank you. Was thinking about this the other day.
I haven’t lived with family (besides my own little family I’ve created) in ten years. Now that we are displaced because of the hurricane, family seems to be the theme in my life right now. I definitely try to be as virtuous as possible but I still struggle with certain things. Sometimes I don’t know what’s truly right and truly wrong. I know through this situation that there are certain things I need to revisit within myself.