Growing up, the Christmas holiday season was always my second favorite time of year, right after the autumn equinox.
It brought so much joy into my life, even though my father wasn’t a wealthy man. My mother wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the holidays. She didn’t spend much time playing with me in general and preferred to sit and watch soap operas all day, often claiming most of my father’s attention. And that’s okay; life is what it is.
But when Halloween or Christmas rolled around, things felt a little more special because of the deep spiritual essence of these seasons. I appreciated how profound they truly were, beyond the commercial hype, and that made me cherish this time of year even more.
In autumn, I could sense the shift in the Earth’s energy, the changing globe beneath my feet. I’d spend hours outside after school, breathing in the crisp air, grounding myself in the seasonal transition, jumping into massive leaf piles that the neighbors collaboratively raked along the street, and praying under the vast blue sky in my yard. I would give gifts to God made of things that I found like nuts or different grasses, and climb up in the tallest tree to get closer to heaven. My dad always made Halloween spectacular, even if he didn’t dress up often; but when he did, his costumes were among the best.
Christmas struck a different chord for me, literally. The winter solstice I knew, was a darker, more introspective celebration, and with my birthday just three days after Christmas, the season often carried a gloomy undertone. My mother didn’t decorate the house or cook elaborate meals. She got the artificial tree out which, was haphazardly assembled, with bent limbs left unfixed. There was no eggnog, no cookie baking, and my birthday gift doubled as my Christmas present.
Meanwhile, I watched my father’s hard-earned money go toward expensive gifts for her on her birthday or during the holidays. Still, I was always grateful, and my dad did his best to include me.
As I grew older, I knew why my mother didn’t share in the joyful activities with me like other mothers did with their daughters. I read her past, her soul, many times.
I had over 100 dolls, many from flea markets, with a new one added each Christmas until I outgrew the collection. I’d pretend to be a mom, imagining all the wonderful things I’d do with my own children someday. I harbored no resentment. I understood on a deep, psychic, and spiritual level why mom, was the way she was.
People who have been hurt, often hurt others as well. It’s a cycle. I never held it against her, but I did miss out on so much. I promised myself that I’d honor the deeper spiritual meanings of these celebrations, making them about more than just gifts or rituals.
The Lord had taught me about the angelic year, its cycles, and the “dead zone” in winter observances, even before this lifetime. So, as a young girl, I vowed to grow up and celebrate authentically: giving to those in need, offering sentimental rather than lavish gifts to loved ones.
No matter how hard I tried, responses from others weren’t always consistent. I’d send cards to everyone I knew, but after a year or two, they’d stop reciprocating. Still, I’d persist.
Before my business officially took off in 2013, money was tight, and I’d rely on Toys for Tots for my kids, Amber and Noah, until my spiritual mission as a teacher started succeeding. My dad did the same for me sometimes when I was a kid and things were tight. You can’t imagine my pride in finally providing for them in ways I couldn’t before. Then came Adree; things were improving, and with my dad still around, I was thrilled to do more for all the kids, even my new little girl, than I’d ever thought possible.
Back when funds were low, I’d still bake cookies and celebrate the sacred spirituality in Earth’s duality of winter. Finally, after my father passed, I had Alex, plus mounting bills. I was blessed with miraculous help, but as my business slowed, that support stretched thinner, covering living expenses for our growing family.
That’s life. We adapt.
When you can’t do as much, you get creative to keep things fun and bright, whether grieving a loss, facing financial strain, or feeling alone. Remember, the holidays are about your connection to heaven and spirit, personal growth cycles, gratitude amid challenges, and the lessons of this earthly experience.
Even though this Christmas is a little tough, Amber and I decided to go all out with the Elf on the Shelf to bring cheer and anticipation for the kids. We played around with this last year, but this year, we’ve brainstormed some fantastic ideas.
We take turns each day setting up new scenarios, and the kids rush home from school excited to discover what the elves are up to. I feel lucky, too. My father always wanted to take me to see The Nutcracker as a child, hoping I’d become a ballerina, since he loved the arts. After he passed, I started the tradition in his memory, but the kids were too young before. My older ones weren’t as interested. This year, a student gifted us tickets to a local show with Nutcracker elements, and I was also able to snag family seats for the full ballet back in June when they were just $20 each. I was still trying to make ends meet helping my mom then, but I set the money aside, knowing the flyers come out around that time.
So, we’ll enjoy that magical experience, plus the gifted show, alongside our Elf antics. It’s making this year truly bright.
We’ve been lighting candles daily in honor of spirit, ancestors, the Earth, and those in need. I’ve been donating time at the soup kitchen, grateful for all the Lord has provided. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I usually volunteer at the animal shelter in summer, but I like rotating my charitable efforts to help a bit of everything and everyone. Seeing people’s faces light up over a warm meal has been incredibly rewarding. It’s hectic doing it between work, my second part time job, and my responsibilities but it sure makes my heart glow!
I also stopped celebrating my birthday on December 28th, years ago, shifting it to a more sacred date tied to a profound spiritual moment in my celestial journey. It also eases the gift burden on family and friends. This year, I insisted on no presents for me; I meant it, as I do every year, though they usually ignore me.
Instead, I asked for cards with a promise: that no matter how hard things get, they’ll stand by my side. And if possible, to do something nice for someone else, a donation or helping hand. I was touched that my little ones said they were more worried about me than asking Santa for much, though I managed to get them some things.
I’m sharing this to remind everyone that life and holidays transcend commercialism. These seasons can sometimes bring people down, but understanding their true roots reveals deeper, positive meanings year after year. For me, it’s cherishing priceless moments with my kids, collaborating creatively with my oldest daughter, witnessing their genuine love by honoring my no-gift request and promises of support, and helping others.
Sure, winter, whether Saturnalia, Yule, or Christmas, has its duality. Amid the optimism and blessings, I can’t deny moments of sadness missing my dad in his previous physical form or worrying about finances like any mother. But life is so much more than the material. These memories are the greatest gifts, ones I’ll carry forever. And my dad finally gets to see the Nutcracker in his new form 😉. God is good.
I thank God for them daily. I hope this inspires you to seek out those little moments, too.
Here are some of the Elf on the Shelf ideas Amber and I came up with:
The first scenario had our elves, one boy and one girl, taking off in the kids’ Barbie cars with Adree and Alex’s Barbies.
Next, Amber created a zip line where the boy elf, Sparky, rescued our female elf, Elvie, from getting stuck in a Christmas stocking.
Another day, Amber fashioned a parachute for the elves and had them draw beards on the kids’ pictures.
One of my ideas was having the girl elf attempt a ride on the ceiling fan, with little treats scattered as hints for the kids to follow when they get home from school, leading them to the elves’ hiding spot.
It’s so much fun. I see so many people making a big deal out of these types of things on TikTok, repetitively, posting, just for views. And so I wanted to share it for those who value my work and like to read my thoughts or what I have to say, here in a more intimate place at my online diary platform.
I think the biggest thing that I hope for by sharing my life publicly at all, isn’t to gain sympathy, and it certainly isn’t to gain fame. We all know that’s never going to happen😂. But what I hope to gain from it is that I can inspire other people to see the beauty, even in the ugliest times of life. I hope that people can see that God is there for them, even when it seems that he’s not. He’s there, in the love that you find around you, or even if you don’t receive it, he’s found in the love that you give. I hope people can come to realize that while they waste time worrying about every little thing excessively, that they miss out on the time that they could have had with people that matter. Not everything has to be what the world makes it into, you can create your own reality.
Nonetheless, I hope that this story made a few people laugh. And if not, I hope that it inspired someone to get out there and do something nice for other people or someone. It takes your mind off of what’s happening in your own life, and it certainly shows you that it may not be as bad as some other people have it, and that you have the ability to make someone’s situation better. Isn’t that the cycle of life? It should also bring a great realization that this world has really taken the true meaning out of so many things, and what they’ve turned things into has literally beaten people down into the ground as slaves. Value the people in your life, and do as much good as you can. And if you have the ability to bless others, do so. It’s the people that matter the most because they are what carry the weight of God within them, no material man-made created thing holds such value. Don’t waste time, allowing the world to push you down to where you stop feeling like you care about the things you used to, and can’t seem to find joy anymore. Don’t look back on the things that you didn’t have with anger or resentment, but with love and understanding, and change the cycles that you saw and didn’t like, through your own actions. That’s one way you break through the duality.
I hope everybody has a wonderful holiday season. 
Embracing the Eternal Echo: Coping With Sensitivity, Solitude, and the Sacred Dance of Forgiveness
In the quiet hush of this morning’s dawn, winter’s frost etched silver filigree on the windowpane, I found myself once more at the precipice of my soul’s vast ocean. The world hums with unseen currents, vibrations of joy and sorrow, love and loss, that lap at the shores of my being like relentless waves.
As an empath, an ascended soul traveling the awkward alchemy of the spiritual and the mundane, I am both vessel and voyager.
Visions pound me hard. My heart, a cosmic sponge, absorbs the experiences of my previous lifetimes, but this one especially. Pictures flashed in my mind and led to memories.
I thought of the laughter of Alexander’s first Halloween mask, the sting of a father’s untimely departure. My thoughts moved to recalling the glitch of my smartphone that mirrors the fractures in our fragile connections. Everything flooded into my third eye like a picture book whose pages were being flipped through too quickly.
2012. I saw my first client emailing that they were happy that a spell I did, reunited she and her lover.
2013. I saw Amber, Gia and I playing “Just Dance”. We were poor still. Amber, Noah and I shared a bedroom, me sleeping on the floor at night so that the kids had beds to rest in. On weekends, we all took to the floor with blankets, Amber ‘s friend Gia joining us. Without money or transportation, we were left to games at home or long walks to get out. In that memory, we all danced to “Starships” by Nicki Minaj. It was our workout. Not enough funds to join a gym.
Another image flashed. 2014. I was sitting on my computer on a website called “Starseeds.net”. People flooded my messages with questions about spirituality. My blogs and YouTube channel had already been up for a year and half already and many wanted to know more. I used a photo of myself holding a crystal ball encircled by a rainbow, as my profile pic.
2014. A man named Mark from Australia and I had become close friends through my work online. I was awaiting his email in the vision, but received one from a woman named Sherry, a real estate agent from California. She asked me to join her on a cruise out there, after helping her. Excitedly, I begged my parents to watch Amber and Noah so that I could go, but they said no. I was so disappointed. I had never really been anywhere. Mark got in touch with me later, and cheered me up.
Another image appeared, of later that same year. I sat in my backyard, but this time I had finished doing a spell with my daughter. We had a huge fire and called the elements of fire. It was a beautiful night under a blood moon. Amber and I used the remaining embers of the dying bonfire to roast marshmallows. It was a beautiful Summer evening.
The images continued, one after the other, all containing moments that played in like movie clips in my third eye, teleporting me back to missed days of old. Times that were simpler. I could hear the voices as we chatted in the images. The music that played back then could be heard as clearly as if the radio was right by my side again next to me, playing them all over again clearly.
Outside the energy felt somewhat normal with hints of sentiment. Tapping back into the energy at present, it all felt so empty. Nothing like the years before. I started channeling further and found myself spiraling down the rabbit hole.
I went from years ago in the past, to the present, and by that time, I was expanding into the firmament. I felt the world’s depression, loss, and the fears of so many people which lingered in the airwaves.
I saw Ukraine.
I saw the pasttimes of the country, memories of families who once lived there. Some of their family members were dead, others… separated from each other by taking refuge elsewhere. I felt the people missing their loved ones. I saw an elderly woman’s memories of having grown up there since she was small. Already she had lived in danger there once during the holocaust, but eventually there was peace. Oh how different Ukraine was then! I felt her feelings of hopelessness of witnessing war again.
It was all so sad. I saw backhanded deals in politics. I saw my own future. I saw protests erupting next year, more.
After long, I wished the visions would stop. But how? By that time, I had let the whole world in. And it hurt in more ways than one.
Afterwards, I just shutdown. I think I started to shut down a long time ago. I didn’t shut my gifts down, but I started holding in my visions, my thoughts, keeping them to myself, to protect myself. Aside from the world, I witnessed so many traumatizing things through my visions, from allowing so many people to get close to me in the past, knowing that they would hurt me. I know I can only blame myself for allowing them in, but my unconditionally, loving heart could never deny anyone. And I have no regrets. Yet, I hurt inside to think of human nature. Heaven explains it, but I can’t grasp it yet. Or I have difficulty accepting rather. How can people hurt others? How can people prioritize themselves instead of their loved ones? Why are they so blind to so many things? How can they just follow the world so easily. How can someone hurt someone who has been so good to them? Why hurt animals? Children? How can people treat one another like objects? I ask heaven so many of these questions and even in the deepest explanations that they give me, I say: “ No.”
Humans can be shifty. Communication makes me jumpy.
Imagine if you can, I receive a single text, innocuous to most, yet as I open it , it makes me shake within like a meteor shower. Nausea rises, visions flicker at the edges of sight, tremors ripple through limbs unbidden. It’s not the fault of the person texting me, it’s the remnants of the visions that I had, that have me shaken up. Or, that I saw too deeply. Why can’t I just see everyone the same as everyone else? Where things hidden from the ordinary in a persons past, or mind, are never seen?
Trying to text back, I sense the individual is low in vibration, good, sweet natured, but in need of healing. I hesitate to reply. I can’t add one thing to the other. It’ll cause me so much uneasiness afterwards. Even if, I seek to see the good. I always look for the good. I told Heavenly Father if I see a bad person who has even 10% of potential to be good, I’ll focus on that. I’ll do anything to show that to the person themselves too. Many times the percentage increases. Most times, even if it does, I get hurt. It’s worth it, I suppose.
Sometimes, I wish I just wasn’t as I am. This is my reality, where psychic sensitivity amplifies the world’s into roars. In my own growth, I’ve learned that such overloads stem not from weakness, but from an unshielded light-body, porous to the residues of others’ unresolved traumas. I have dealt with it all of my life.
A casual phone call becomes a conduit of shadows; an in-person exchange, a deluge that leaves me bedridden, soul-spent. Why can’t people just love?
The Hypersensitive Heart: A Gift Wrapped in Thorns
But the divine irony! This vulnerability is the forge of deeper wisdom. It compels me to erect sacred boundaries, not walls of resentment, but veils of holy solitude. It all teaches me so much, with heaven narrating over top to peel back layers.
It’s been a lot , to see the things I’ve seen. Like the lotus folding into the muddied waters to emerge pristine, I must retreat to recalibrate.
I have chosen, with a heart both heavy and liberated, to limit draining interactions: no more unvetted visits, no lingering calls that siphon my essence. I make the plans, and initiate texts. For years I’ve ensured that I avoided overload by avoiding calls and visits except after spiritual healings, and being completely pre-prepared. Even my cell phone stays far from me on a shelf, when not in use. Even the exposure to the Non-ionizing radiation off of my phone makes me feel low. I don’t under how people can sit on their phones all day? I get nausea and throw up after awhile.
In terms of health effects, cell phone radiation can greatly hurt your DNA, and ruin spiritual DNA activations if the person doesn’t rejuvenate by renewing the activation, and receiving quantum atomic healing to wash away those harmful energies. And let’s face it, there are other toxins in the energy all around us, in the ether. I wish people would trust me. I’ve always just tried to enlighten and keep everyone healthy. But I have to be in a good place divinely, in order to help those who seek me.
Instead, I will continue to offer my gifts through the ether, texts that carry healing frequencies, online sanctuaries where souls connect without the crush of proximity. In this choice, forgiveness blooms not as erasure, but as elevation. To love unconditionally is to see the divine spark in every wanderer, to release their hooks without bitterness, granting them, and ourselves, the freedom to evolve.
Although I’m already spiritually evolved myself personally, bad energy, stagnant energy, the sun, even my own psychic gifts can all harm me, depending on the nature of what I’m seeing or experiencing. It’s a shame.
I truly always dreamed of having a lot of people around me, and even maybe to even have had a true helper to share my life with, someone that I could really harmonize energies with. But sadly, it’s not looking like that’s going to happen for me, being that I’m sensitive like this. My true marriage, is to God, my people, my kids. That will always be my sacred vow.
I know how much more heartbreaking it is for the heavenly beings to witness earth’s current state and human conditions. I speak with many of the angels each day about it, leaning on them as a shoulder to cry on. I love humanity and earth so much, and it kills me to see evil.
All the while, so many other people would rather ignore it, or they mirror it back outwardly, or they wonder why should anyone even care since earth has had corruption since beginning of time anyway?
That’s not the point.
Even having been around looking down from above, prior to coming to earth, we knew that it was a corrupt place, but we also knew that it was going to get worse. That’s why messenger’s were sent every so many thousands of years, to help people awaken. That’s how much heaven cares, that sensitive, perfect messengers are sent down into this world that literally is heartbreaking and hard to handle to live in, to walk through this hell in order to help enlighten other people so that they can be done with the planet’s trappings, and they won’t have to experience the suffering here anymore. That’s sacrifice, and true love.
But nobody really notices it since there are so many, fake spiritual teachers out there, fake prophets, and miracle workers, and the few real ones are ripped off for their truth, being pushed into the background so that humanity never finds the true gateway out of here, they only feel hopeful through the facade.
The Fading Flame: Why Healings Demand Devotion
That’s why I created special packages that worked together, to create that feeling of divinity for people while they got the very best healing for every part of themselves. In Hinduism and Buddhism, they believe that each part of yourself is a part of your spirit. Mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. The same applies in the teachings of Jesus, only they disguise it a bit more. Jesus once said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27). So to think about something is just as bad as doing it, and you’re using your thoughts and your emotions to ponder over something or desire it. All that’s left is to use your spiritual energy to push it into action. Even Proverbs 23:7 says: “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”
In our era of accelerating ascension, the spirit’s machinery whirs with unprecedented fervor. Global energetic shifts, tied to solar flares, geomagnetic storms, and the collective churn of awakening, thicken the vibrational soup we swim in. Healings are more important than ever before. The imbalance in earths, energetic grid, the pollution in the air, the negative frequencies being emitted through the web of collective consciousness, it’s all dangerous to a spiritual being. Sure getting healings all of the time isn’t going to promise that you’re going to have a successful career, but it helps you have better connections with other people, clear thoughts, better, physical health, and it keeps you uplifted and closer to the divine sense, the divine energy surrounds you. Imagine just having close spiritual ties with people in your family can be detrimental to your health. If the people that you’re closest to, or thinking negative things, that streams back-and-forth through your spiritual ties, and you may end up feeling aggravated, irritable, or depressed, not knowing why, when it’s actually coming from someone that you are closely tied to. I’ve known this as a spiritual fact for a very long time, which is why I’ve put so much emphasis on also keeping soul ties clear.
You’re using half of yourself when thinking negative things that you shouldn’t be. These belief systems knew how imperative it was to keep these layers of self purified and clean, especially in an experience that continues to protect negativity all around you. Even on a subconscious level, you’re being poisoned every day. It’s in television, music, the Wi-Fi wavelengths that are invisible throughout the air that carry information and actually literally passes through you. That invisible intel enters your consciousness.
It’s also your own subconscious through things that you haven’t worked through yet that you struggle. Additionally, you’re infiltrated by the things that you see all around you in the world with your eyes, and even on social media. All of this is deliberately constructed to keep you down.
Environmental toxins, digital distortions, and the relentless pull of lower entities conspire to erode our alignments. I’ve witnessed it in my healings: a profound session that fuses your aura with angelic light, activates dormant DNA strands, and deflects the dross of daily discord, only to wane weeks later, like a candle guttering in the wind.
Why do these sacred infusions not “stick”? Well, part of it is entropy, the universe’s inexorable slide toward disorder. Even metaphysically there are etheric leaks, where ungrounded intentions invite parasitic vibes.
Spiritually, it should be a priority and a reminder of our co-creative dance on earth together. but sadly, there aren’t enough people I think this way you were even care. And many people aren’t taking care of their energy in order to provide that beacon of true pure light any longer. Healing is not a one-and-done elixir but a rhythmic maintenance, a devotion to the divine rhythm, devotion to your spirit and devotion to be a light worker by carrying purified light. Just as a garden demands weeding and watering amid seasonal changes, so too must we recommit to our light.
In my practice, I made perfect combination packages and even lowered the prices for a work that is divine and invaluable due to the unsurpassable worth, not out of obligation, but out of reverence for the soul’s sovereignty. Think of it, these types of healings wouldn’t even exist on earth to help people, if the Lord had not provided us with them. General Reiki by unskilled practitioners who can’t see your spiritual blueprint, doesn’t last very long, and there are no other healings out there that can get to the quantum atomic levels, rejuvenate cells, clean the layer of your aura, unclog your chakras, release, sicknesses, and infuse you with a higher vibrational energy from a higher dimension, like the ones that the Lord gave us in design. Plus, having a divinely constructed protection grids to lock that in?
The Lord also provided us with the ability to not only do this for ourselves or other people, but for homes and spaces. This way environments can feel clean and clear, welcoming, for people that enter. Even for people that own office spaces or businesses, these services help in making it more inviting and enjoyable. Haven’t you ever walked into an office and it was just cold and dull? Later on you went home feeling exhausted? Awakened spiritual people have the ability to change things for the better, but today they are forgetting to care about it.
Being a light worker isn’t just being a better person, acting more kindly toward others, or making better choices that are best for you and other people. Being a light worker isn’t just an environmental work. The term light is added to the word light worker because it also matters, the condition of your energy and spirit. How can you be a bright beacon of light, if you allow your energy to be dimmed down, unkept, and uncared for?
Many people get tired of having to continuously keep up with their spiritual care, but to me, I’ll never give up on mine. If I can shine brighter, bring a Divine loving essence into a room, if I can make a home or space feel a little more heavenly, if my energy makes the interactions that I have with animals and other people feel authentic, heavenly and loving, if it brings joy to their life even for a moment, then I’ll continue doing the energy services needed to keep that going.
I know all too well the benefits of the services and how they keep your health in good place too. I value the temple that my soul dwells in. I not only want to be a beacon of light, but also remain healthy, celebrating that the Lord allowed me to the opportunity to walk in this body, and help other people. By caring for my body, I show him that gratitude.
But sadly, not many people look at it this way anymore, and they’re not willing to invest their time into caring for themselves this way because they don’t think of it this way.
Picture it: your energy field, once frayed by the world’s static, being made into a luminous shield, repelling what dims you and amplifying what elevates. This is the art of spiritual hygiene, where consistency transmutes fragility into fortitude.
With so much negative energy out there, and people lacking and caring for their light, it’s very difficult for me to interact. I can communicate through email and text, and so on, but to have voice to voice or even person to person contact, their energy tunnels through me since naturally I’m channeling them, as I do with everyone and everything
If their energy is negative, it’ll hit me like a virus and bring me down pretty hard. There was one time, for example, that I had gotten off of the phone with someone that hadn’t received any healings for a while. I didn’t want hurt the person’s feelings by saying anything at the time, but their energy was making me so ill that I wanted to rush off of the phone. However, I’m kind and patient, and I allowed the person to continue their conversation, knowing that they needed me. But when I got off the phone, I literally collapsed on the floor, sweating, and vomiting, my body shaking from the negative impact of their energy.
This is in no way to judge anyone, but only to show you that spiritual energy is a very real thing and for me these days, being as sensitive to it as I am through my gifts, I have to be extremely careful.
I was lucky someone was home with me at the time that they could pick me up and put me in a cold bath to help me. I can’t expect every person that wants to speak with me or see me, to purchase a service in order to do so, and so I don’t recommend services anymore. I talk about them here and there, but I leave it up to people to make their own decisions so as not to coerce anyone to buy anything. But the fact of the matter is, as the world’s conditions get worse, people are also worsening in their energetic conditions. It’s bad for them and it’s making it very hard for me to be as open with others as I used to be.
On Being Hurt
My love runs so vast,” I once confessed in a raw Facebook post, “that each hurt fractures my core.” Yet, in mending those fractures with grace, I become a conduit for the unconditional flow. So fragile, and so loving, to be hurt would make someone like me leery of anyone who had hurt me, ever again. They would never get the same connection with me again, as I would always feel the need to protect myself. Of course I would never abandon them, but I would become guarded. Even though many may say that I can see who people are, and what they’re capable of deep down, even before getting involved with them, which is true, I always believed that having someone that truly loves and accepts you without judgment, and is always there for you, could be the type of love that changes a person from being hurtful in nature at all. But in my experience, I tried to help the people that I saw who were capable of hurting me or anyone in some way. But they were only just suppressing their true nature to try to be a better person (which I respect), but it still came out in the long run, whether hurting me somehow, or other people. I don’t judge, my heart is full of unconditional love and kindness, but I have to ensure that my heart is safeguarded. It reminds me of an innocent pet that loves its owner, and sees the owner can do no wrong even though the pet senses it. Then one day the owner beats it, but the animal still purely shows love and devotion to them regardless.
Threads of Legacy: Family as the Eternal Web of Light
Amid these solitary vigils, family emerges as the heartbeat of the eternal, a story written from joy’s bright yarns and grief’s somber silvers. All we have, are each other.
Halloween, that liminal eve when veils thin and ancestors draw near, has become our family’s ritual of remembrance. My son Alexander, with his pint-sized bravado, donned the killer clown guise this year, a nod to my father’s wild, elaborate costumes from my childhood, when Friday the 13th marathons left me huddled in terror. In that red-nosed regalia, Alexander channeled not just play, but legacy: honoring the grandfather he never met, bridging the chasm of loss with laughter and strangers’ cheers at a contest we miraculously won.
These moments are divine postscripts, reminders that love defies the linear tyranny of time.
My daughter Adriel’s paper airplane prayer that I mentioned in a previous entry, scrawled with pleas for adventure and ease, looped back not as grand fortune, but as a cascade of small miracles: an impromptu outing, a rediscovered iPad, a trickle of unexpected funds. Even the banal betrayals of technology, like my cursed iPhone 16’s phantom glitches ( never upgrade, heed my warning!), value this truth.
In the eternal now, devices falter, but soul bonds endure. They stitch across lifetimes, where I once foresaw my father’s passing at age 3 in the astral world, and again at age twelve, a psychic precognition that now informs my gentle guidance of my children through their own sensitivities. i’m guiding them through it but seeing how hard it is for me to live with these gifts, sometimes I wonder if it’s even something I want for them.
The River of Time: Virtue in the Vast Unfolding
At its core, our spiritually awkward sojourn is a meditation on time, not as a thief, but as an eternal river, carrying us through infinite expressions of the One. I have glimpsed this in past-life echoes: the betrayals that birthed compassion, the abundances that taught non-attachment. Losses pile like autumn leaves, home razed by fire, students scattered by circumstance, health besieged by the body’s rebellions, yet each is a lesson in virtue. To see life truly is to embrace impermanence without clinging, to love without possession, to forgive as an act of cosmic courtesy.
In this river, every encounter is sacred instruction. The“opponents” who wound us? Teachers in disguise, polishing our edges toward brilliance. The dreams that dissolve? Invitations to alternate graces, where God’s itinerary unfolds with impeccable timing. We are not adrift; we are held. To live ablaze in this flow demands patience in manifestation, trusting that prayers, whispered or scribbled on folded wings, alight on divine ears. Speak your truth from the heart’s unguarded chamber, laced with loving kindness, and watch resentment transmute to release.
Awakening to the Eternal Echo
Dear seeker, if your soul quivers at the world’s unseen symphonies, know this: your awkwardness is your anointing. Guard your light with the wisdom of boundaries, tend your healings with devoted rhythm, cling to your family’s stories into eternity’s loom, and surrender to time’s benevolent current. In forgiveness, find freedom; in solitude, sovereignty; in every breath, the divine’s whisper:
You are enough. You are eternal. You are loved beyond measure.
For me, though, I am protecting my home space, and my own personal spiritual space from this day forward. I am here to be a servant to all of you, as I will always continue to do so. However, I’ve done this alone for a very long time, and feeling alone, can sometimes bring questions. Even though I am a divine being, delaying my Nirvana for now, to help others achieve liberation, I still wonder. I serve as a compassionate guide, giving forbidden unknown knowledge to seekers, I’m an angel! I even hear when people call out to me and I help them without them even having to let them know that I’m doing so. But either way, I walk in my life alone. I ask, did I do a good job?
As I’ve reached this stage of my life of great sensitivity, I’m proud that I have the family members that I do. Without them, I would be utterly alone.
It’s just me, my children and my mother. But what happens if something happened to me? Where would the kids go? What happens if we have no income? Where will we live? Already with hardships that we’re facing, these are questions that seem to need an answer sooner than later. I wonder, as I have given my life in devout service to the Lord, giving all of my time to helping others, and serving him, spending every moment of my breathing life in conversation with heaven and being a service to others, I am now at the age of 43. It makes me ask heaven: “Will it always be this way?” When you find people that share you special bonds and understanding with, never let them go. Even still, time sometimes takes them away. My best companion, my daughter Amber, grown. Noah, also grown and attending to his girlfriend and future in laws. Dad, deceased from one vessel and in a different form that doesn’t hold the same dynamic. Mom, recluse. Everyone still here, not in the same way. I love deeply. I could have built life with anyone and everyone, Yet, I watch my future and the vision lead me into a fully bloomed lotus.
A single lotus flower, the bloom itself, typically lives for 3-5 days once it fully opens, during which it unfurls in the morning sunlight and closes partially or fully at night. After this, the petals wither and drop, leaving behind the seed pod, which matures over the following weeks. This is the definition of life. Even with 100 years is short compared to Earth’s age. Our lives are not long enough. The lotus symbolizes impermanence and rebirth. My life has bloomed, my seed pod, my children, growing up as my petals wither away. And while many flowers bloom together, the lotus lives standing alone, having risen from mud, not some strong hold of hardened earth, surrounded by water, the emotions I life with that encircle me everyday, seeing life with this view of only bright light.
I embrace the light totally. I love fully. And I see life truthfully.
Keeping everything written here in mind, I encourage everybody to take care of their spiritual energy, especially during the times that we live in. I know that I’ll be very overprotective of mine. That includes my home, my personal space, and my spiritual energy. I may have lived to be 40 something years old already, which brings a great deal of life experience, but I’ve lived many other lifetimes too, and I’ve witnessed many things from heaven as well to know, that there are many things in this world to be aware of, and to see what the most important things are that we should focus our time and intention on. I see through people, the masks that they wear, the façades that they try to display, and for me, I’m all about being real.
So in this, I’ll always be here for everyone, always! If you need me, you know where to reach me. Shoot me a text message but please respect that right now, my spiritual gifts are putting me in a very vulnerable place as well as the challenges and hardships that I’m facing in my life alone.
Yet, in this hypersensitivity lies not a curse, but a clarion call, to forgive fully, to boundary boldly, and to heal ceaselessly in the eternal now. Put the things that are supposed to matter the most, first. Be the big of light that shines brightly and more ways than one and don’t neglect your spiritual care, your home environments, or the layers that make you who you are mentally, emotionally, spiritually or even physically. You are the temple that holds the living light. And continue to learn. I’m not quite sure how much longer I’ll be able to pay for my online school and once it’s gone, all of the lessons there will go with it. Enroll in some of them and take advantage of it while it’s there. Even though there are so many people out there that are replicating some of my teachings, even using AI to try to act as if they know something Deeper, my teachings are authentic and truly from heaven. It would be a terrible thing to miss out on in this lifetime. Like I said, heaven sends a messenger every so many thousands of years, to come and find the people that they want to come home, and awaken them. Continue being one of those people. 
May this echo resonate in your chambers, stirring the lotus within. Chase the ripples, cherish the now, and bloom unapologetically.
Each day, countless souls drift through existence, as if time were an endless river, unaware that every ripple is a fleeting gift, their actions suggesting tomorrow is promised, their hearts sometimes lashing out at loved ones in moments of passing frustration, or their minds too preoccupied to whisper words of love to those they cherish.
They cling to the phrase, “You only live once,” and though I feel the pulse of that metaphor, it misses the deeper truth. I know that we live countless lifetimes, each a thread in the stitches of time that is the journey of our eternal soul.
As someone who carries the vivid echoes of my own past lives, I share this truth to awaken others to their timeless journey. Yet, even if they cannot touch those distant memories, so many squander the sacred moments of now, and though life’s demands press heavily, they must gaze through a looking glass of wonder, seeing each heartbeat as a precious chapter in the soul’s eternal story.
My message here, is a cry from the heart, to show the world that every moment is a spark of divinity, urging you to chase the moments you long for, and if they miss you, pursue them anew. If time feels scarce, seek it with determination, grasping even the smallest fragment, for every second is a treasure in this fleeting life.
For me, a soul called to serve, forever sought by those who need my voice, I strive to hold close the connections I’ve forged, reaching out to as many as I can each month, yet my heart aches, knowing I cannot touch every life as deeply as I yearn to. My dream was never to stand apart leading, but to dwell united among those whose spirits I’ve touched through my work, a vibrant community of pure hearts, bound by love, brought together with our families, never alone. I truly dreamed of having that community. I once wrote in here, about my own three paths to fate and that dream was one of them.
My heart has bled to bind souls together, to create a place to live, of unity where love reigns, yet the relentless tide of my work, my ceaseless service to others, has often torn me from those I yearn to hold close, leaving me adrift in the currents of devotion.
I’ve learned to heed the subtle signs, whispered along the sacred timeline of my life, revealing that this dream of togetherness may not unfold as my soul once hoped, and now, standing at this tender juncture, I see a new path unfurling, a divinely crafted path by heaven’s gentle hand.
That’s okay, for I trust the cosmos chooses the way, and we, as humble servants, follow its guidance. At times, shadows rise against us, forces that obscure the light, yet I know there are always other paths, possibilities stretching into the eternal, offering solace when one dream fades, guiding me to a place where my soul finds its footing.
Though that vision of unity was a sacred ache in my heart, I cradle every moment the Divine bestows, even missed opportunities, as treasures that glow within my soul, carried across lifetimes, eternal treasures of grace.
I can still see it, a vision so vivid it pierces my heart, a sanctuary where kindred spirits gather, souls who resonate with my own, hungering for spiritual strength, craving the divine embrace of support. I imagine us together, not centered on one, but bound as one, our families brought together in laughter, sharing feasts of love, our rituals, shared activities like we did online but in person, nurturing life in harmony.
Yet, as I stand in the year 2025, my lips may name the date, but my spirit, a superconsciousness, dances across the realms, channeling souls of varied light and wisdom, losing myself in their essence, forgetting the earthly now.
I am grateful for my journals, my diaries, and the cherished friends who anchor me, sending reminders of the date when I’ve wandered too far.
Time slips like starlight through open hands, and as I gaze upon the world’s shifting tides, I know my path leads to a place where every moment unfolds for a divine purpose. I won’t name which of the three paths I tread, or if it’s a sacred blend, but this journey, from the echoes of past lives to the heartbeat of this moment, is like a mosaic, created with beauty, truth, and eternal love.
Carrying multiple spirits within my vessel, I sometimes ache to enjoy life’s simple joys, for one part of me gazes from a divine summit, seeing truths beyond human grasp, setting me in a world apart, teaching, lecturing, speaking parables of a love so vast it defies earthly understanding.
Another part, childlike, clings to the joy of youth, not in a human sense, but in the eternal essence of spirit, living in heaven’s wisdom, alive with playfulness.
In spiritual teachings, some teach to release attachments, and so I hold none, yet my heart overflows with love, for love is not possession, not ownership, but a sacred river, flowing through virtues like grace and patience, and when it shifts or fades, we must embrace it with unwavering acceptance, our hearts untouched by loss.
Too many take love for granted, chasing romance or friendship to fill their own voids, blind to its selfish roots. Why do they seek companions, friends, or cling to those they cherish? Too often, it’s for what they crave, not what they can give, but true love, divine love, is whole, seeking only to pour out, never to grasp.
In my Tantra course, I guide my students to see love’s true celestial form, a force unlike the fleeting desires of the human heart. On earth, people tremble at change, fear the loss of those they hold dear, but in heaven’s light, we love fiercely, we weep for those we release, yet we let them go, knowing it’s the soul’s sacred path.
When dreams unravel, when paths diverge, humans cast blame on God or themselves, but in the divine, we seek the greater purpose, trusting it serves the eternal good.
People though, they chase selfish desires to feel whole, but to love divinely is to be whole already, to give without seeking, to let love flow like starlight, untouched by need.
I look back on my life, through the echoes of past lives, the lessons of this one, and I embrace past, present, future, as a single, eternal now, my heart yearning to share this wisdom, to guide you to live with a soul ablaze, cherishing every fleeting moment as a divine gift
I’ve come to see this vision may not fully bloom in this life, and as a presence woven into the digital threads of countless lives, I may remain a voice, a light, even after I’ve crossed into the next realm. That’s okay, because these bonds, though often unseen, pulse with eternal truth in my heart, as real as the breath I draw.
It humbles me to stand among women my age, in their 40s, and witness how many have yet to uncover the sacred keys to health, or perhaps have not found the will to embrace them fully. Even I, with all I’ve learned, am not untouched by life’s trials, catching a cold every few years, though it passes swiftly, bearing a few wrinkles, my voice sometimes trembling from endless speaking and teaching. Childbirth has etched its story on my body, leaving hernias from four children and C-sections, and when I look back, my childhood was a crucible of illness, mumps, chickenpox, allergies to dust, an acute sensitivity to sunlight, all intensified by my Rh-negative blood. My mother, without the wisdom or means to heal me, could only watch, and as a child, I had not yet found the tools I now wield to nurture my body and soul.
As I grew, I turned inward, plumbing the depths of existence, and at just 12, I knew my father would leave this world when I would be in my 30s, not from words spoken about his health medically, back at that time, but from the quiet knowing of my psychic gift. I’ve always seen those I would lose, when they would depart, down to the intricate paths of my own life, even glimpsing alternate roads, where futures might shift if destiny veered from my visions, revealing what could unfold in those unwalked paths.
My memories of past lives deepen this knowing, like lanterns illuminating patterns across time, yet each vision was like watching an hourglass, its sand slipping away for every soul and moment.
Still, I held life’s fragile beauty as splendor, cherishing each instant despite the weight of my foresight, and though that knowing broke my heart, it dug gratitude into my very being, it streams in my veins.
Through arguments, disagreements, family trials, I learned that love’s eternal bonds are what endure. You know, there’s a song called, “Forever Young that pierces my soul, don’t we all long to hold time still?
As a child, its melody drew tears, for I felt the fleeting nature of existence, and another song, “Dust in the Wind,” sings the truth of our impermanence. Even with those who stand as enemies, I hold no hatred, no anger, for they are teachers, their presence a mirror for growth, and I seek to understand their hearts, releasing bitterness. I don’t waste breath on arguments unless rooted in unshakable conviction, always speaking with loving truth, knowing when to step away, yet always returning to offer love, not resentment. I stand firm, never letting others trample my spirit, yet my heart remains open, helping others, never abandoning them, discerning the balance between perseverance and endurance, shielding myself from toxicity or abuse.
If I must protect others, standing in the storm to shield them, I never regret my sacrifice, but I guard against losing myself in their struggles.
Looking back, through the lessons, the souls I’ve loved, those I’ve lost, those still near, my vision remains steadfast, we must cradle every moment as sacred, in this life and all others.
Gaze upon your moments with tenderness, even the mistakes, learning to laugh at them, drawing wisdom from every encounter, even with yourself. See life as a movie you’ve lived, its highlights glowing across every genre, pushing aside insecurity to embrace your quirks, your beautiful strangeness, for I believe we’re all a little wild, a little wondrously odd.
Speak to others from the heart, never with scorn, meeting them where they stand, knowing each soul hears your words through their own lens, and in this, you’ll find meaning in every breath you take. If you can’t prioritize what matters most in every moment, seize even a fleeting microsecond before it slips away. Live, don’t linger in the shadow of death, live with a heart ablaze, knowing this life is but a chapter, embracing its impermanence with joy, for stories rise and fall, and through them, countless chapters unfold, even in the afterlife, this is the eternal way of things.
I strive to nurture my health, to linger in this life as long as I can, yet I know a day will come when I’ll step beyond, and that truth echoes as it did in my youth, awaiting the futures I’ve seen. Only, my own.
I look at pictures of myself and think, “You shine on the outside, you’re holding strong within,” but time remains the silent guide, taking us through this life’s chapters into the next.
Advice from the Heart:
Chase the moments that set your soul alight, and if they slip beyond your grasp, create them anew with the fire of your spirit, seeking even the smallest fragment of time, for each breath is a sacred spark in your eternal flame. Know this life is but one verse in the soul’s unending song, and even if past lives remain veiled, live each day as a holy pilgrimage, gazing through a looking glass of awe, where every moment pulses with divine intent.
Tend to your body and spirit as sacred vessels, forgiving the stumbles, for each gentle step toward wholeness echoes through eternity, binding this life to the next.
In sorrow or loss, seek the truth of life’s dance, for gratitude transforms pain into wisdom, anchoring you in the eternal across all lifetimes. When paths diverge, trust the divine hand that guides them, for heaven places every moment for a purpose, and even missed chances are treasures, carried in your soul’s embrace.
If shadows rise against you, seek the alternate paths, plans of possibility, knowing the Divine always offers a way forward, guiding you to where your heart belongs.
Live not as one tethered to earthly need, but as a soul radiant with divine love, giving without grasping, letting go with grace, for true love is a river that flows without end, untouched by loss. Embrace the multiple spirits within you, whether you see from a divine summit or dance with childlike joy, for each perspective is a gift, a lens to see the eternal.
Teach others, as I do, to seek love’s celestial form, to release the fear of change, to let go without clinging, knowing that every soul’s journey is sacred, even when it leads away.
Live with a heart wide open, ablaze with the ferocity of the stars, cherishing every moment as a divine gift, for though time may fade in this life, the love you carry echoes through every lifetime, an eternal song of grace.
With those who oppose you, release anger, seeing them as sacred teachers, their presence a mirror for your growth, speaking with loving truth, stepping away when needed, yet always returning with a heart full of love, not bitterness. Stand unshaken in your truth, never yielding to those who would diminish you, yet keep your heart open, helping others, never forsaking them, while guarding against the poison of toxicity, knowing the difference between enduring and persevering.
Look back on every moment, even missteps, with a tender smile, laughing at your own stumbles, drawing wisdom from each encounter, seeing life as a cinema, its highlights vivid in every genre, embracing your unique, wondrous oddity, for we are all beautifully strange. Speak to every soul from your heart’s depths, never with judgment, meeting them where they stand, for each perceives through their own sacred lens, and in this, you’ll uncover the meaning spoken into every breath.
Trust the quiet knowing within, and if you carry past lives’ memories, as I do, let them guide others to their own truth, but if those memories remain hidden, know your soul is still writing its eternal story, and every moment is a chance to awaken.
I had intended to include this in a private message to someone that I felt needed to hear it. However, upon writing it, the Lord advised that I should make it a public letter because there are actually many people in need of hearing these very same words. Therefore, here we are.
As you know, I tend to write on this blog, almost as if it’s my public journal. Many of you know many deep and intimate things about me in my life as I’ve been extremely open and transparent to everyone. However, I don’t think that I’ve touched base on my soul contract change much, other than just mentioning that I had changed it. So, I would like to talk about that for a minute. I would have done a video, but I’m working on another topic right now and thought sometimes I’m a little better at expressing things when I write my words out anyhow.
Learning In Life
First, I want to share that I’ll be creating some videos soon where I’ll talk openly about some of the struggles I’ve faced in my life. I feel it’s the right time to do so because I know many of you might have gone through similar experiences. It’s important to embrace all parts of ourselves, especially as we work toward Awakening and preparing ourselves for heaven. Through experience, we gain wisdom—especially if we’ve learned from those experiences. If we don’t learn from our mistakes or lessons, then that’s truly folly.
In some cases, people simply lack guidance and don’t get it the first few times around. And that’s okay, too. Sometimes, individuals take the path of severity on the tree of life, but ultimately, it all depends on where you’re at in your journey. The Lord Himself says that when you’re working on things in your final lifetime—your last opportunity to evolve and ascend—you must work through your karma and fulfill your purpose. Otherwise, the whole journey might seem meaningless.
Yet, even in those moments, it’s still your story—your experience of living, loving, laughing, crying, and even losing. Whether negative or positive, it’s still beautiful and meaningful. But, when it comes to ascending to heaven, we must truly work toward perfecting ourselves. All saints in heaven are perfect—there’s no doubt about that. Anyone claiming otherwise is not being truthful. These beings are high vibrational, filled with divine wisdom because they’ve transcended imperfections and grown through their journey. Their wisdom now guides others throughout the universe.
It’s true that there are many realities and lessons to explore, and while I don’t see Earth as my enemy, I must say it’s probably one of the harshest places. As I mentioned in a previous video, Earth is like a planet that contains all the deadly sins—making it incredibly difficult for souls to transcend lessons here. Many go through lifetime after lifetime, stuck in repetitive patterns, repeating the same mistakes without truly learning. Even when they do learn, selfishness often still rules, and people continue to make the same errors because they want to.
There are those who say they didn’t really want to continue in this way, but if someone knows better and still chooses to act otherwise, then they’re doing what they want—plain and simple. The Lord isn’t judging to condemn; He’s judging to see who’s worthy of ascending. Will the person stay trapped in the 3D world, or will they choose to move upward into higher realms of learning and growth?
As I’ve often taught before, it’s like progressing through school. You start in kindergarten; nobody skips straight to third grade. You need to master each level before moving on. Sure, some people can jump grades, but only if they put in the effort and truly learn what’s necessary at each stage. How can anyone put in that effort on Earth when they’re born without memories of their past lessons? It’s a very tough place to be, and believe me, the rulers of Earth make it that way. That’s why messengers and teachers have always come to light the way for those meant to leave this place.
That doesn’t make anyone better than others—it simply means they’ve transcended the lessons of this particular space. And that’s truly wonderful, because who would want to stay here, right? Which brings me to my next point: staying here.
My Way Out?
Back when I was quite active in my line of work, I shared a deeply personal piece of information with many of my followers—about my eventual departure from Earth. I had spoken openly about the possibility of leaving around the age of 33. I know it’s hard for some to believe, but I don’t need a major accident or catastrophe to leave this Earth when the time comes. The Lord will prepare the way, and that will be it. How He chooses to do so—whether through illness, a car accident, or otherwise—is entirely up to Him. Who can truly decide their own moment of death? I think most would prefer to transition peacefully in their sleep, and I could ask for that blessing, but I also recognize that it might be selfish to do so.
There are so many people who face horrific ways of dying, and I’ve always been mindful of that. Just as I’ve shared with many of you about the trials I face, I’ve also been blessed with countless miracles in my life. But honestly, I’m no different from anyone else. Just because I’m a messenger of the Lord doesn’t mean I’m treated differently or that I don’t face challenges. I have to go through struggles just like everyone else—otherwise, it would be unfair, a sign of favoritism.
Trust me, the Lord blesses me abundantly. When I’m struggling, He finds ways to help. When something goes wrong, He steps in to fix it. And when I can’t do something for myself, others come to my aid. I plan to share many of these miracles in the upcoming videos about my life. But for now, just know that I could have chosen a different path—one that might have been easier or more comfortable—but I didn’t want to be treated any differently. I wanted to walk this earth like anyone else, without selfishness, understanding that many people suffer every day. Why would I want to be made special above others?
The same philosophy applies to my death. Whatever way the Lord wishes for me to leave this life, I will accept it. I won’t make selfish requests about how it happens—I only ask that He be with me afterward. That’s what faith in the Lord is about: carrying your cross, just as Jesus did. Many don’t realize that carrying the cross didn’t just mean accepting death; it also symbolized bearing the burdens of life itself. The cross represents the four directions of this world—north, south, east, and west—and life’s challenges come from all angles. Whether you walk north or south, east or west, you’re here to face those burdens.
If Yeshua/Jesus had to carry his cross and face tribulations, so must we. I’ve worked hard to clear my karmic debts, to learn all the lessons I came to Earth to master, and to fulfill my Earthly and Akashic purposes. These purposes are crucial because they demonstrate that I’ve accomplished what I set out to do here. For me, I didn’t have a choice—because I was sent here as a messenger. I could have run away, hidden, or ignored my calling, but I didn’t. That’s what brings me to my next point.
Fulfilling My Purposes
I am here to make life easier for others. My purpose has always been to provide insights, to prepare everyone for the future, and to ensure that those the Lord intended received knowledge—encouraging them to do their best to improve themselves, find some measure of happiness in this lifetime, and view life with eyes wide open. I believe I’ve done a good job in fulfilling that mission. So, when I was told I would leave around the age of 33, I didn’t mind so much.
However, having faced many hardships in my life, I never truly had the chance to experience the simple joy of being a mother. I’ve had two children before, but my parents lived with me, and as you know, even as a messenger and someone wise, parents are parents. For me, it was a little different with mine because they always treated me as a little innocent angel that they were extremely overprotective with. They help me with my sensitivities, even when it came to school, and I always guided me and my gifts. But because they were always protecting me and sheltering me because of my abilities, I guess that made them feel like they had a right to dominate my life at times. I appreciate their help. I do. But I longed for the opportunity to raise children whom I could teach entirely on my own terms—by my own rules and influence. I wanted to walk a different spiritual path with them, one that I could shape based on my own understanding and experience.
I taught my older children well, but I’ve learned that each person learns differently. Through my own journey, I’ve discovered better ways to awaken and nurture a child early on—methods I couldn’t fully implement when I was younger, with my first two children. So, I wished for a chance to fully embrace motherhood, to raise two more souls who would be awakened, virtuous, and saintly—a legacy of my love and teachings that they could leave behind in this world. And at the time, I was doing pretty well with my work that I thought finally after all of the challenges that I face in life, this was the most perfect time in my life that I could expand my family, and that I’d have the financial resources to do it. Lord had mentioned struggle in the future, but by that time I had hoped to get a lot done in my life to where I’d be situated. Instead, I placed so much focus on helping other people that I hadn’t put so much time into helping myself. Luckily I’ve had good people around me though. 
Nonetheless, I went to the Lord about this, he told me that I had truly suffered a great deal in my life, and that in my earlier experiences or lifetime on earth, previously, I hadn’t really gotten a chance to experience what I truly desired to experience on earth, which was finding true love. It didn’t matter to me how I found it. Maybe just motherhood itself was enough to understand what true love was really about. And believe me, I can truly say today, that it is. There’s nothing more beautiful on earth or anywhere really, than love that is shared between a mother and her children who really do love one another. I always looked to find that kind of love in other people. It’s the kind of love that heaven has for each other, it’s the kind of love that heaven feels for all humanity. Coming to earth, it was my greatest longing to find that type of love here.
But experience after experience, I discovered that it really didn’t exist here. You can imagine love and romance all you want, you can imagine falling in love with your twin flame or some soulmate that enters your life like some fairy tale. And perhaps for some, that can be a reality. But for me, I found true love through being a mother. And I just hadn’t felt that I had experienced enough of that. Yet, the Lord had taught me that motherhood isn’t just about bringing children into the world. It’s about who you leave an impact on as well. Just like soul parents up in heaven play a significant role in guiding your journey, any spiritual guide that has taken responsibility for you and walked you through your life is sort of like a parent.
Therefore, he made it a valid point that true love did exist. It existed through me and the love that I felt for every single person that I had helped. Everybody I cared for, guided in their life, and helped them to make better choices through my insights. But they were all abroad and far away. Even though doing the readings and healings often made them feel like they were right here with me, I just wanted to feel that love and nurturing again—if not with a partner, than by being able to raise new children. That was the only thing I really wanted for myself out of this entire planetary experience, was to find true love in humanity here. That, and being able to help people find God and love themselves.
Expanding My Soul Contract
And so I asked the Lord if I could have a little more time. I asked him if I could be a parent and enjoy my time on earth—nurturing and caring for others, not just new children that I would go on to create, but also through the people they had come to bond with through my work and love. He told me that he didn’t mind if I extended my spiritual contract for more time, but that everything is an even exchange. Being a messenger, I would have to offer him something in return.
I wasn’t even able to have children, to be honest with you, and I didn’t really have anybody to have the children with, even though they came through very upsetting circumstances that I have yet to even talk about or reveal. Perhaps someday.
Still, all things happen the way that they do, good or bad, for a reason. And the kids have been greatest joy aside of the cruelties that I’ve faced.
In that, he told me I could say that I could continue my journey in searching for true love through motherhood, and the love experienced through the lives I’ve touched, if I would in return provide detailed prophetic messages to the world—messages to prepare people for the world changes that we’re about to experience.
At the time, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, so I agreed. I had already had many visions as a girl, and the future. I already had an idea of what the future was going to end up like.
Seeing now how heavy the messages are, the visions I have to live with, the emotions and impact they make, I see just how much it costs. But that’s okay. I’m super humbled and thankful that the Lord allowed me the opportunity to provide His messages to his people. In exchange for that, I’ve been granted a little more time on earth, a few new loved ones to add to my family, and a continued connection with those I have come to love, meeting them in this spiritual journey.
Back when I was first told that my time here would at the age of 33, going on 34, I didn’t feel I had much left anyhow. I was told my father would pass October 4, 2019, and my older children were growing up quickly, nearing adulthood. My parents were aging, and I knew Dad would pass away soon after I was supposed to leave anyhow. I also hadn’t found love through a partner. Although, I did find companionship in a few friends. In my mind, I accepted not continuing the journey into old age.
Perhaps the Lord was right in His judgment—taking me at 33. That way, my older children would be old enough to stand on their own, I wouldn’t have to witness the loss of my father, and I would have fulfilled my role in guiding those whom the Lord had brought into my life, leaving behind teachings that many could benefit from.
But I decided to change my soul’s contract to live longer anyway. Before, I felt leaving my teachings behind and departing before the chaos in the world intensified was a purpose well accomplished. However, the Lord had made a deal with me: and I could stay longer if I chose, which I did, to have another chance to be a mother and raise some beautiful Saintly souls.
In return, I agreed to carry the weight of relaying the herald’s predictions starting in 2019. You might remember I’ve shared some predictions before, but none on the scale as the angelic messages that began in 2019, before the pandemic and the upheaval we see today.
This extra time I chose, came with a heavy responsibility. I promised the Lord that I would deliver His messages through the Saints to help people be more prepared and insightful about what’s happening around them, and I’m doing it. Believe me, it’s a profound burden to bear.
Why Share Now?
I haven’t shared this with anyone else until now, but I felt it was important to do so.
Why? Because there is a deeper purpose to it all. It’s not just about me. It’s also about you. All of you.
I don’t believe most people realize how important they truly are until someone takes the time to tell them. So, I want to tell you something reader: you have helped me in accomplishing my goals of discovering love on this planet, and helping people find God. The truth is, I haven’t known many truly good people in my journey. Over the years, I’ve encountered con artists, those who have been abusive or manipulative, liers, bullies, and individuals who have taken me for granted. I see evil people a lot in the world in general. Many people I’ve met have prioritized their own needs over others, out of self-interest or selfishness.
When I first stepped into this line of work many years ago, I was afraid. I feared I would face ridicule, or worse, treatment far harsher than what I experienced in my daily life—though not online, but in the physical world. Despite my fears, I courageously opened my heart accepting the purpose I was sent here to do, sharing my beliefs and the lessons I’ve received from the Lord personally. I expected backlash, but surprisingly, I haven’t faced many trials from others. Instead, the Lord has brought wonderful people into my life—people like you—who have touched my heart in ways words can’t fully express.
Even though we don’t speak every day, I think of you often. The healing work I do for you is deeply personal—an act of love and light—and I find myself emotionally and spiritually connected to you, as if you were a cherished family member living right beside me. Because of your presence in my journey, I look forward to each time you come by. I can feel you.
Knowing that you are kind-hearted and striving to be a better person in a world that can often feel cold and harsh has truly lit up my life like a bright beacon.
Even though I may have an awakened viewpoint, doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes see the negative in life too. Like I said, I’ve seen a lot of ugly things and crossed paths with a lot of mean people. I truly do understand the reason for it everything that happens and the ways of life, but sometimes it’s so hard to take in. You’ve shown me that not everyone is lost to evil, that goodness still exists. Meeting people like you reaffirms my belief that the Lord has a purpose for holding onto this Earth. If people like you exist, He has every reason to keep fighting, to keep awakening others—regardless of who they are, what they believe, or what they do—because the purity of their heart matters most.
I just want you to know how much you mean to me. How much you’ve brightened my journey simply by being who you are. I hope you can see your worth when you look in the mirror, even on days when it’s hard to remember. I know it’s not always easy, and you may not hear words like these every day. But this comes straight from my heart, and I wanted to make sure you knew just how special you are to me.
So, the point I’m trying to make is that even though sometimes I look back and wonder about my choice knowing that my new children will have to grow up in a chaotic world, that I’ll probably be gone by the time they’re adults—knowing that this world is indeed a difficult place, how hard life can be even for me, and knowing that many of the insights I’ve shared have been questioned, or for believers, have caused anxiety—I still know that staying was the right decision. I’ve helped a lot of people, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting beautiful souls that the Lord continues to fight for on this planet.
I understand that life can be very hard sometimes, and there are moments when you may not want to keep going. Many people out there long to leave this world. Yet, even I, who was ready to go, went asking for more time, have extended my stay—knowing that the road ahead could become even darker and more difficult. Because, I knew that there was a way to experience true love in this world, and to actually achieve my purpose of finding it, as well as helping others find the Lord.
And I did so, through being able to meet and work with many of you. The children I have are a miraculous gift. But what’s additionally just as miraculous, it’s getting a chance to see all of you grow in faith. But the truth is, no matter how you feel about life, you are here for a reason. I say it all the time—together, as a collective. Just by being here right now, amidst the darkness, we are allowing the Lord’s light to live on. Despite everything trying to extinguish it, we continue to keep that light alive.
Therefore, I’m really thankful that I got to extend my spiritual contract and stay longer. I get to go through this time with all of you and prepare everybody with knowledge and wisdom. I am the messenger of this time, and you make that great responsibility worth it. I’m thankful for that, even though the days may be hard. I hope this changes your perspective in wanting to live out the fullness of your life, and to be thankful even among the challenges, to be here right now.
You are the light of the world. And you are especially a light in mine. Just as much purpose as I’ve given to you, you’ve given to me, and that’s a beautiful story just in itself. I have more messages and wisdom to share, more people to save, more souls to meet and love. And I have two kids to bring me joy along the way too. Looking at those gifts, makes life worth the choice. You have to find the joys in your own too, and stay strong. Even if it just being a light here for God, you are meaningful. Never give up! You never know what the future holds and asI would’ve been long gone by now, here I am with the greatest gifts God could give in life. You too, could end up with an unimaginable future. And if not, you still served a purpose just by being here.
Thank you for being a part of my records.
Use Your Contract For Greater Change
While some people come to me seeking contract changes all the time. There have even been a few requests to shorten their lives. However, that’s something I haven’t been given the power to do. The Lord grants me the ability to extend time for others, but ultimately, when a person goes to Him, it’s His decision. Even if I had that ability, I don’t think I would want to participate in it. I love people enough to see their value, their potential even if they don’t see it. I read the soul after all, and I know there’s a better way for them.
Honestly, I believe everyone is valuable and worth fighting for. Sometimes, I fight for people harder than they fight for themselves, through the guidance that I seek for them, and the prayers that I speak, as well as the behind-the-scenes things that I do to try to help their path without telling them. Each person should see the value in themselves to want to fight for themselves too.
I believe it’s more meaningful to give yourself more time to pursue and accomplish your dreams. If you’ve ever had thoughts like that, I sincerely hope you’ll reconsider. Use your soul’s contract to reshape your circumstances and make life worth living instead!
While embarking on a personal journey of spiritual exploration online is a beautiful and intimate experience, but it is equally essential to acknowledge the shared responsibility that both individuals and their loved ones hold in being mindful of the content they engage with. This awareness creates a supportive and nurturing environment for growth and discovery. And ensures the well-being of the seeker.
Each person has the inner wisdom to discern whether what they are viewing supports their well-being. Just as some choose to watch videos about religion, the paranormal, philosophy, pranks, wellness, new skills, or other forms of knowledge, it’s ultimately up to each individual to decide what resonates and what is safe for them at any given time. The same applies to life coaching, advice, or spiritual teachings: it’s truly important to listen to your intuition and honor your unique path. Athough, I do have to admit that I’m pretty good at what I do in terms of helping others. I’m trustworthy and honorable in my work and following the advice would truly be beneficial.
With that said, I don’t deny that my content is deep and at times heavy. That’s why I have always included clear disclaimers throughout my work, on my predictions, blogs, and all my content, especially where I discuss sensitive topics. These disclaimers are just to remind viewers that certain material may not be suitable for everyone, particularly those who are emotionally or mentally vulnerable.
My intention was and is always to inform and protect, understanding how deep mystical and spiritual studies can affect someone’s mental and emotional state. But again, if a person chooses to explore what I offer, ultimately that is up to them.
Over the years, I’ve shared my beliefs with the sincere hope that others will see they are not alone in their experiences. i’m not here to enforce my beliefs, but to share them. If others felt that they agreed, then we formed a community of like-minded people. My goal is always to gently guide those interested in deepening their spiritual understanding, while cautioning about the potential risks involved in exploring the unseen realm. I have always advocated for a careful approach, never encouraging practicing magic, spirit work, or mediumship without proper guidance, because I am fully aware of the dangers that can arise.
My hope is to illuminate the truth and help prevent unnecessary trouble in the process.
At the heart of everything I teach is the love and light of our Heavenly Father and Mother above. Living a life of righteousness and virtue is central to my message. However, I understand that my teachings can sometimes be misunderstood or may trigger difficult emotions in some individuals.
Please know that if my content affects you negatively, discretion is key, and each person is responsible for choosing what they expose themselves to.
Like if the predictions cause anxiety, then why read them? If a person chooses to explore them anyway, that’s their choice and I can’t be held responsible for the anxiety felt. And if the person knows that they feel a certain way while reading them, it was their own choice because they continued reading them after all. Just like I have the right to freedom of speech in sharing my knowledge and experience, viewers have the right to close the page or not read it all if the content bothers them.
But even still, I’ve always been considerate on how the material could affect people which is why I always added a disclaimer when it comes to working with me on my website, and even on blogs as well as some videos that have had some sensitive images.
Yet, it pains me deeply if anything I’ve shared has caused hurt or exacerbated existing struggles. While I cannot control how others interpret or respond to my teachings, I am always mindful of the impact I might have. I’ve been cautious in my approach, sometimes consulting with family members or stepping back if I sensed someone was becoming overwhelmed, because my intention is to protect and support, not to harm.
Most of my students are adults, in line with my “terms and conditions”, at my site which specify that participants should be 18 or older, or have parental consent if younger.
For minors, I’ve always taken extra care, engaging asking about their guardians or pausing altogether if necessary, to ensure their safety and well-being. If I feel the information is not being taken positively, I’ll gently say; “Maybe I’m not the teacher for you”. And I will back away. But I have asked the small handful of students I have had under 18, if they’re relatives were aware that they came to me, and they would even order services for their family members leading me to the assumption that their relatives were aware.
I trust that when someone tells me that their family is aware or supportive, they are speaking with honesty, but I recognize that anyone can say anything online. Yet people should come with honesty, as I provide honesty myself, because spiritual work is serious, and not everyone is ready for esoteric teachings. Ultimately, each person must decide what they are ready to explore or accept in their spiritual journey. It’s also the responsibility of parents and guardians to be aware of what their loved ones are engaging with. If someone informs me that their family supports their involvement, I trust that and proceed accordingly.
Regarding my predictions, understand that I do not have control over external circumstances or the broader world. I don’t manifest the things that I foresee. If I had that power, I would focus on alleviating suffering everywhere. I’m not God. I only share, what heaven shares with me as a humble messenger.
I do regularly review my content, understanding that some teachings, like predictions or mystical insight may evoke anxiety. Believe me, having visions of the events myself even gives me anxiety at first, I get it. It’s ultimately up to each person to decide whether they can handle the information with discernment and care and to come honestly from the beginning.
My deepest concern is for everyone who has been affected by what I share. I want you to know that I care sincerely and hold compassion in my heart. I share this openly because I understand how things might appear from an outsider’s perspective, and I always seek to approach with humility and empathy, seeing from all angles, above and below, and through each person’s perspective too. Please don’t judge a book by its cover. I have always been honest with everything, if I hadn’t intended on being honest, then why would I speak about so many deep and personal things in my life, my wisdom etc to begin with? I didn’t have to share anything with anyone. Yet I did, because the trust that people place in me, is deserving of explanation in order to continue honoring that trust. 
Because the spiritual path involves deep, often heavy, truths, I have not worked extensively with too many younger students. If these teachings were meant for everyone after all, they would have been accessible to all people throughout history. Usually, if there are adults who aren’t even ready for these profound insights, then a younger person likely isn’t either. That’s why I emphasize the importance of mental and emotional preparedness before delving into spiritual work. In my time, I have only taught a few kids that were nearing the age of 17, but I was told that their family was at least aware of the fact that they were working with me. For now on, a video recording will be required with the person seeking, and their parental guardian, speaking visually in the video, letting me know that they are condoning that they seek with me as a teacher or reader 
Side from this, I do care and that’s why disclaimers are a key part of my practice especially regarding sensitive topics. For instance, I include warnings about predictions involving angels on the disclaimer page of the site , advising those who are emotionally sensitive to approach such insights with caution.
My teachings on public websites and videos are meant to be accessible to everyone regardless of age, background, or walk of life. I do not control how individuals interpret or utilize what they find here. If anyone seeks clarification, I am always happy to guide them. But I do want to sincerely apologize if any of my prophecies or teachings have caused confusion or anxiety. A weight is something I personally carry, as I understand the heavy significance of what I sometimes reveal, becauseits heavy even for me as the oracle.
That’s why I encourage everyone to consider their own readiness before engaging with sensitive material. It’s for their mental, emotional, and spiritual health. But ultimately, if someone chooses to continue on and work with me, I respect their decision.
My teachings focus on guiding people toward unconditional love, living virtuously, and deepening their connection with God. Shadow work addressing the parts of themselves that challenge them, is a vital part of this process, aimed at growth and self-awareness.
When someone purchases a service from my website, be it coaching or readings, it states on the order that by purchasing, that they automatically agree to the terms, and that they agree to the terms outlined in my policies. I can only assume that they’ve read those terms, and trust they’ll be honest in providing true identity and not come to me under false pretenses.
I always try to see things from multiple perspectives and hold compassion for anyone who might have misunderstood or been affected negatively by my work.
Knowing that people grow and achieve their goals is my greatest joy. It hurts me deeply if anyone has ever felt hurt or confused by what I’ve shared. Please understand that I am aware of the heaviness some content may carry, but I also teach about balance and the divine light that shines brighter than darkness.
No one is required to agree with my teachings, and I do not seek to impose my beliefs on anyone. Many of my relationships with students have blossomed into genuine friendships. I share my work freely because people are drawn to it, they come to me because they seek understanding, not because I push or market aggressively.
Those who choose to follow, participate, or engage with my teachings do so freely. I cannot control the weight of predictions or insights I share, but I share my insights out of a sincere desire to help others on their spiritual path, toward humility, love, and a genuine relationship with God and themselves, and a truthful awareness of the world.
Its true, everyone has the right to believe in what resonates with them, whether it’s religion, spirituality, or their personal truth. And each person has the right to express their beliefs lovingly and freely. My intention has always been to guide others toward love and light, never to cause harm.
If any of my content feels too heavy or challenging for you, please remember that you are free to step back. Your well-being and peace come first. I hold deep compassion for all on their spiritual journey, understanding that it can sometimes be confusing or overwhelming, especially when guidance is not pursued through consistent mentorship or even misunderstood.
Again, I am not responsible for external events or outcomes. My predictions are insights, not manifestations or powers to control reality. If I had that kind of power, I’d be working to end suffering everywhere, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, and fostering peace. I am simply a humble messenger, sharing visions in hope of helping others elevate their understanding, prepare for challenges, and find their inner truth.
My greatest hope is to see others grow, evolve, and awaken to their divine potential, walking their path with love, humility, and hope.
I do feel sorry for anyone who consequently couldn’t handle the wisdom or if if added to existing internal struggles. My heart goes to you.
For now on, please proceed with my content with care, ensuring that you are ready for the information that you are about to watch or read when it comes to my YouTube channel or blogs. Always take care of your own mental and emotional well-being as a priority first. Your mental and emotional selves are a greater part of the spiritual body, and all have to be in the greatest health, for the greatest growth. 
Thank you for taking the time to read it. In this entry, I wanted to explain something I started doing just a month ago. I began highlighting students who have significantly grown. However, I’m not only going to focus on the growth of students but also on the beauty of friendships that I’ve made throughout this journey.
Why, I’m Documenting This…
The Lord says that when you love, you love without conditions. That means that you don’t nitpick. You don’t look for wrong. There is no jealousy. There is no reason, that you love a person. He says that it doesn’t matter what a person does you, or what they do for you or don’t, you just love people. That’s how he is. And so that’s how he taught me to be. And it’s funny because I’ve received some nasty comments on YouTube putting me down for my visions saying it’s ungodly, but yet here is a person that is belittling another person in the name of God? It makes utterly no sense. People that think they’re so self-righteous because they follow a religion, that they can belittle or hurt other people, have no idea what the love of God is about. God’s love is endless, and it’s without the conditions that mankind places upon it.
And for every person that I have come to work with, I have always had that kind of unconditional love work, even if they didn’t show it back in return to me. Humans have trouble, knowing how to truly love unconditionally. But throughout my journey, I have had the honor of meeting a few people That I wanted to highlight here, because this will serve as a testimony someday, maybe perhaps my kids can look back on and have hope and humanity. And even for my friends, they can come back and read it and remember how much they were loved. That’s not to say that I am implying anything is going to happen to me right now, lol. But I am getting older so I would like to leave meaningful things in place.
As a little girl, I had no one. I only had my parents, who protected me because of my gifts and sensitivities. The Lord told me when I was young that I would not have many friends because of Him and because of the way that I am. As an Oracle, it’s very hard to get close to others—not only because I can read into them so deeply that it’s very difficult to bond over the things I see lying beneath the surface, but it’s also difficult for the other individual.
Imagine being friends with someone who is always shifting back and forth between different states of consciousness. I’m not talking about consciousness in terms of being sleepy, wide awake, or super hyper; I’m talking about being a whole other entity. Or imagine sleeping over at someone’s house, and all they do is talk about invisible people that you can’t see or something God has said? Or how about having a fun time playing board games and laughing over jokes, only to suddenly see that person burst into tears because they just witnessed something tragic in a vision? Or even worse, imagine that person freaking out and screaming because the vision of something horrible happening somewhere in the world seems so real that they can’t differentiate between reality and the vision… for that moment- causing them to scream in horror and become inconsolable?
Most people would think that the person was a nut job, right?
I understood the Lord when He told me why I wouldn’t have friends. But I also didn’t have much family either. Therefore, He always told me that family isn’t just about who you’re blood-related to, but that connections go much deeper than that.
As an Oracle, when I read someone, I know basically everything about them—from their past lives to what they did in this life, what they’re about now, what they’re thinking, and even the deep, dark things they hide. In just a few moments, I feel like I’ve known that person for an entire lifetime, even more deeply than their closest friends and family know them. Most people who meet me feel the love and know that they’re accepted. They can sense a familiarity because they feel that I know them. Many people in their first reading with me say things like, “Nobody knows me better than you; you just told me my whole life in one reading!”
For others, it’s very easy to connect with me and feel the love, but they don’t get to know me as deeply as I know them, since they don’t have the ability to read as I do. Therefore, they can’t really see deep into me, like I do for them and my great love, can be so overwhelming. They don’t understand why I love them so much so fast. Because of that, their bond to me, may not be as strong as my bond to them.
The Lord was right about me not having friends—at least, not many in person. I feel that He kept me secluded solely for His work. It was a lonely life, but He always told me that when I got older and began my mission to help others, He would lead wonderful people into my path. Not just so that I could teach them, but because I finally had a chance to love others and make friends with people who were genuinely like-minded, or who would become like-minded.
I don’t think people truly realize how important they are to me. I waited my entire life to meet others who could understand the true concept of unconditional love and acceptance, as well as those who genuinely wish to contribute to the greater good they want to see in the world. I longed to meet others who would come to love God as much as I do, or at least try. they didn’t have to even believe in the same exact thing.
In this work, I’ve read thousands of people around the globe and have conducted countless readings. According to my beloved friend Rishi, whom I highlighted on this website, I had over 2,700 files in the client portal alone, and that was after I had already deleted some. The portal was created in 2016. Yes, I started my work as a child, helping people personally, but when I transitioned online, I began in 2013. I have far more files than just 2,700! I’ve uploaded countless readings to OneDrive, Dropbox, emails, and Google Drive. I can’t believe how many readings I’ve actually done! Not only have all those personal readings come true, but my predictions about the world have been so eerily accurate that I sometimes scare myself.
This Mission
I often ask the Lord why He chose me. In essence, I know why, but I will never fully feel worthy enough to be good enough for someone of such great love and power to bring truth to me. I may be angelic but I’m also just some small town girl from New Jersey. Yes, I have strived, even through adversity, to purify myself and be the most perfect person I can be—not on the outside, but on the inside. and that’s because of my great love for God and for other people. If I’m the best that I can be, then I’m the best I can be for all of them. and I also know that most of everything here on earth is playing out bogus. The way that people look at things, the way that they treat each other, the emotions that come up, sometimes, judgment, lack of foresight, greed, and all the other sins… That’s truly shown me that being my better self and saying, innocent, is more valuable to me than anything earth could ever offer. I never want to be like other people. it’s not worth losing yourself, to all of the drama and chaos that the world and other people bring. Instead, there is a greater love that most people can come to know, that can heal, and change your life forever.
I wanted to show others that they could do that too. I wanted them to learn the truth that God offers, to see what happens in the world around them, and to truly become believers. Moreover, I wanted them to recognize the goodness within themselves. everybody’s been hurt and traumatized in someway, great or small. Howcan anyone really know who they are aside from everything? I can see deep down the great potential inside of people, that they have. It’s not that I want to change them because I see that, it’s because I know that it would make them truly happy. My love for them wants them to have that happiness. I want them to see that they could change the things that brought them difficulties or inner pain and suffering. If I could show them where they were hurting or flawed, insecure, or uncertain, we could take those shadows and transform them into brighter light. After all, shadows always bring trials and tribulations. People don’t deserve to live with depression; they don’t deserve to struggle or feel unfulfilled or alone.
Full Of Gratitude
Even though I had no friends, I’ve always had God and the angels, and for that, I’ve had a fulfilling life. But that didn’t mean I didn’t want human interaction.
Even though everyone who has come to know me has loved me and stood by my side—accepting who I am, what I do, and the things I know and see—it can be very difficult for them. If you lived with me for a month, you would see for yourself. Yet, so many people have shown me their love, and for that, I am incredibly thankful. I still remain secluded, distant, and alone, but I’m okay with that. I understand that this is how things have to be. I know that one day I will have a huge beautiful spiritual family to reconnect with, perhaps in the next world, maybe even including some of you. And I do have my kids, my dog, and a few great friends. That’s what I wanted to share with you all about.
One of them.
As a result of everything I’ve shared, I want people to know that I understand what it truly means to value others. This understanding deepened even more after the loss of my entire family in 2019. When I say my entire family, I mean my entire family: my pop-pop, my dad, my dad’s younger brother, his older brother, and his nephew. My mother’s brother died, her other brother passed away just a few years before that, and her nephew also died. As for my other relatives, we were never really close enough to keep in touch. However, due to the losses and the lonely life I lived growing up, every single person I’ve encountered on this journey has been meaningful to me, even if I’ve only read them once.
For those I’ve really connected with—those I’ve spent years guiding, teaching, and being friends with—I don’t think they’ll ever fully know how much I treasure each and every one of them.
That’s why I wanted to make it a point to start highlighting some of those people, including my students who have come far on the illumination pathway. Many times, people come here just to praise me, but I want everyone to know that I’m not looking for praise. I post to foster meaningful discussions and to hear everyone’s thoughts. Sure, it’s nice to receive a compliment or two, but that’s not what’s most important. I’m here to inspire, motivate, and discuss. I don’t want it to always appear that it’s all about me. Sure, it’s my work and my vision, and I’ll defend those visions until the day I die, but I’m here for all of you. Love goes both ways, and while I value the support and I need it, I’m not just here to gain your support like some other influencers. Some of them don’t even engage with their following. I can’t imagine how they can earn respect or loyalty from so many followers if they don’t even pay them any mind. Yet here I invest my time and love into my community, even if it’s just a few people. I know it’s because the Lord led me to those I was meant to connect with.
Most of the time, everyone comes here to show me support and praise, but there are so many of you who deserve to be truly seen and heard. So many of you are talented and have come so far on your journey that you’re now much wiser. Some have even blossomed into their own special gifts, while others I have helped expand their existing abilities. I can’t believe how lucky I have been that the Lord has sent me to so many beautiful people through this work. I never expected to be famous. In fact, there was a client of mine who used to be in the circle and once told me she was only around because she thought I was going to get somewhere. When I didn’t, she ditched me.
I was never looking for fame, and even though we’re all trying to survive, I’m not looking for fortune either. I just want to share my message and meet amazing people. From day one, it has been about spreading wisdom and truth and finding people who care about what truly matters. Over the years, I’ve watched so many people decline into superficiality and lose their sense of interconnectedness. I was the one who predicted that would happen with the indoor generation video on YouTube and in many other blogs. People don’t realize they’re being used as weapons and tools to strip empathy and emotion from mankind. Knowing this would happen since childhood, I have always sought to meet people who aspire to be good—not just perfect—but who genuinely care about others, about harmony, and about God. I never cared about what religion they followed or what they called their God; I just wanted to find people who shared a love for the same ideals, even if expressed in different names and ways. I wanted to help expand that knowledge and not just provide the manufactured information found in books. I truly wanted to share real truths and help guide others through life with authenticity. I have had that opportunity throughout this wonderful journey.
In one of my blogs, I mentioned Rishi and how important he has been to my path. In another post on Facebook, I mentioned my student Avrina. Many, many times… I’ve mentioned Bella. There are still more people I would like to highlight, but in this post, I would like to talk about my beloved friend Toby.
My Gift In Knowing Toby
I’m proud to be both teacher and friend to Tobias.
Believe it or not, I have known Toby much longer than many of you—longer than even Bella, to be honest. Toby and I first crossed paths on my YouTube channel back in 2013. From the very beginning, we discovered that we shared a lot in common. I love that Tobias has always been open and accepting. While we didn’t become best friends right away, and at first we didn’t see eye to eye always. Yet, over time we cultivated a strong friendship that I now consider as close as family.
What an extraordinary person. Maybe not always understood, but exceptionally smart, bright, great conversation, and warm to be around. Toby always puts herself last for others. She even goes the extra mile of perseverance and endurance, just to help the people that she loves. Knowing what it’s like to love unconditionally, both Toby and I have always looked for other people that could love us just as much as we love others, but both of us have had difficulty in doing so because of how human beings can sometimes be. The human perspective not only holds people back from enlightenment but it holds them back from experiencing the interconnectedness that we all share.
No matter how far away we live from each other, Toby has always stayed by my side knowing that’s its in the soul that our connection matters. Its been a gift and relief to find someone who truly grasps this. As an angelic I’ve tried to show people that time and distance don’t matter, and so those illusions shouldn’t keep us apart. Toby understood this.
Most people know that it’s very difficult for me to talk on the phone because I pick up on so many different energies. I can sense your background thoughts and feel the spiritual energies in the room with you. I can even tell who has been with you that day. If you were feeling nervous or depressed before our conversation, I feel that too. Because of this, I’ve limited my communications to text messages or emails over the years. I know it has been frustrating for many, as miscommunications often arise in texts, and some people long for a more personal approach. However, Tobias and a few others have stood by me, accepting me for who I am and valuing any communication we can share. She didn’t abandon me just because we can’t speak on the phone. If she didn’t accept my limited communication, I would truly have no one to talk to. Its the same with a few others. and I thank God for them all every day, even though there are only a few. 
Both of my adult children have moved on with their lives, and although they come home occasionally, I have my two youngest children here. Aside from them and my mother, there is really no one else in my life. Most people wouldn’t understand why I can’t talk on the phone. I had a friend I grew up with, someone I’ve known since I was 12, who would always try to call me. I just couldn’t answer, knowing the energy surrounding him. It wasn’t that I was judging him; rather, if I didn’t have my own stable frequency to rely on, it could throw me in many different directions, opening me up to a flood of overwhelming sensations. He would often get upset, but many times he would settle for text messages. Yet he still didn’t fully understand my situation. Even though he knew who I was and what I did, he wasn’t deeply spiritual himself, which made it difficult for him to truly grasp my perspective.
In contrast, Tobias and a few others have genuinely opened their hearts and minds to see things from my viewpoint. It’s not that I’m trying to be selfish or avoid phone calls with those I love—I would cherish that. But it’s challenging for me to experience the visions and energies that surround me every day. Toby has always accepted me for who I am and what I can offer in terms of communication.
I know that many others have supported me, so if you’re reading this and you’re one of them, please don’t feel excluded. I recognize everyone’s contributions, believe me. But truthfully, Tobias and a few others have worked tirelessly to share my message. Even to this day, every time I go online, Toby, along with Ena, has shared something of mine. It’s not just occasionally; it’s every single time. And for years!
So many others have dropped off the face of the Earth, stopped showing support, and they don’t even at least try to be my friend. At least a friend? With all of the bonds that I’ve made with people while working with them so personally over time, reading them, advising them, teaching them, you would think that once they’ve gotten the knowledge that they wanted, that they would still stick around to click a lot a “like”, or even just text me to say “hello” on my website. But many of them don’t. Like there’s no one. It’s really strange.
I know I have only ever been true and loving.
Yet Toby, and a few others have remained such good friends that they still act like one, trying to help me with what I’m good at, while I praise them with what they’re good at. We all have our own talent and jobs. 
Toby even drove all of the way to attend my baby shower to support me during a new beginning in my life, and has made it a point to visit me once a year to ensure that we always have time to connect, even if just briefly. That’s right, Toby visits even if it’s just for an hour to grab a quick bite to eat. It blows my mind, the kindness. Please don’t get me wrong, I have offered to meet Toby halfway lol. But Toby figures I’m always so busy and I’m channeling all of the time, that being a friend that really loves me and wants to see me, she makes sure that she does. While although I do need to be able to schedule and set things up properly so that there aren’t any miscommunications or mishaps, it was very endearing each time. There I am each time, just looking at Toby and thinking to myself, “What a wonderful person to care about me that much”. And I would thank God in my heart to know someone like that.
What a true friend—to drive so far just to share a meal with someone! I’ve been continually blown away by Toby’s kindness and love for years. I know that Toby didn’t always have the same outlook, in the beginning, but the understanding of unconditional love has really become a part of her. And I can’t say that I’m proud enough, to see that. 
Last year, when Bella had an event in New York City, she tried to include me as a featured artist. I thought it was so nice of her to do that, as she just tries to include me in everything that’s going on in her life. She’s one of my greatest friends too. However, since it was at a bar/restaurant, I didn’t want to bring too many spiritual people there. Bella has worked so hard on her own path, and I wanted the event to shine a light on her work and her project. She’s always there to vouch for me, and so I wanted it to be all about her that time. Yet, when Toby saw that I was mentioned, she drove all the way there to support me.
As you know, many people follow me online, but many fail to comment, share my work, or even feel ashamed to admit they believe in me. So, I didn’t really expect anyone to be there for me, honestly. People are often too quick to try to take advantage of my prophecies and wisdom rather than support me. I didn’t really advertise the event for myself and with the amount of people that I’ve worked with in the New York area, I really could’ve had quite a few people there. But I knew in my heart that even if I had really promoted it, or invited people, that not a lot of people would’ve probably showed up anyway. Oddly enough right?
When I walked into the room and looked around, there was Toby sitting right there. That day, I had been picking up on all of the energies out there in New York, and knowing I was going to be in a room full of people that I didn’t know, and that I would easily read into them, it was really overwhelming.  But what was more overwhelming in a positive way, was realizing that Toby was such a true friend to come all that way just to sit beside me during what was a rather uncomfortable event—no offense to Bella—and to talk with me while we passed the time. The event wasn’t uncomfortable because of Bella or anything. She always does such a great job on everything that she does and always tries to make sure that I’m comfortable too. It was just that I’m very sensitive, as I say all of the time. 
Bella did a lovely job on the event by the way…
Toby has sent gifts to my children too. I don’t think people can imagine how lonely it is when the holidays come up, and it’s just me and the kids here. There’s no aunts, no uncles, no cousins. There aren’t any grandparents for them either. Even though my mom is alive and well , she doesn’t spend any time with them. And so, the holidays can feel a little sad. But yet, Toby, and a few others never forget to send presents for the kids, which uplifts not only me, but my children too. It’s so selfless.
Whenever I check my YouTube videos, posts, or blogs, I always look for Tobias. She is my light at the end of the tunnel, along with Bella and a few others, because I know that they and Toby are true friends. Knowing that Toby is always there gives me the encouragement to keep doing what I’m doing. Not only Toby, but many of you who follow and support me, give me the strength to continue this mission, striving to change the world for the better, one soul at a time. Do you remember “One soul at a time” used to be my old slogan?
Toby has gone the extra mile for me so many times, and I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that in this blog.
If anything ever happens to me in this world and the time comes when I’m no longer here, I want to leave behind this diary with all of my dreams, thoughts, knowledge, my experiences with God, and my experience in being a service to others. But I also want the journey to reflect the meaningful bonds I have created.
I’ll be featuring others in the future, but today I just wanted to express how proud I am to know Toby. I had just provided some insights to Toby, and all of this came up in my heart afterwards. On top of that, I’ve been pleading with my audience to comment and help to push my videos out there, so I can reach other people. And every single time, Toby, Bella, ad Ena have all been the first to comment for me. I’m so thankful for the help, and it reminded me of how lucky I am in this journey that there are a few people in this world that truly not only believed in me for my gifts and knowledge, but loved me as a real friend.
Toby is incredibly gifted and talented in art, music, graphics, and computers—too many talents to list. More importantly, Toby is one of the most loving and accepting individuals I have ever met. The world often focuses on the wrong things, missing out on the beauty of genuine people and real change.
While Toby may be eccentric and quirky at times, she has been a true and beloved friend. Throughout the years, while Toby has been learning with me, it has been challenging to find people who truly understand the depth of what I am teaching. Yet, Toby is one of the few who has genuinely grasped it. Many people don’t comprehend Toby’s posts, as she often communicates in a secretive way, but that’s okay. Anyone who is truly open-minded will understand; if they don’t, then it simply wasn’t meant to be. I tend to be a bit more transparent, but I often speak in parables too, using symbolism and metaphor to convey truth. That’s why I can relate to Toby, and she understands me as well.
With everything I have taught in terms of illumination and enlightenment, I am proud to say that Tobias has come so far. With her example and the example of a few others, I can genuinely say I’ve made a positive impact in this world.
Toby is also naturally gifted; many of my students have expanded their abilities, and Toby already had some gifts when we met. I remember that when I first met Toby, she shared about her spiritual encounters. Over the years, I have been consistently amazed by the drawings Toby has shared, capturing experiences I have had. I haven’t always let her know, but I have been truly impressed. I believe that our gifts combined could make a significant difference in the world in many ways. Perhaps we could have collaborated on police work, with me describing a suspect while Toby drew the likeness. Maybe we’ll have a chance to do something together in another experience.
Being a teacher to someone as wonderful as Toby has been an honor and a gift in itself. But it has also been a gift in return to have her friendship, acceptance, and love.
I’ll conclude with this: I want everyone to know that there are people I truly cherish here. I love and value each one of you, even those who may be reading this and haven’t connected with me personally yet. I feel all of you. I even sense my enemies lurking around, and I have love for them as well. But it’s not all about me. The Lord sent me here to teach everyone else, and though I may not have millions of followers, I have had the privilege of meeting some of the most beautiful souls on this planet, and Toby is undoubtedly one of them.
There are many others I’ll be talking about in the future.
That’s right—if you’re reading this and you’ve worked with me and have been a friend, it’s very likely that one of these will be written about you too.
Someday, I want to look back on this and remember this beautiful journey, or leave it for you to reflect on when I’m no longer here. I also want my children to read this, so they can understand that faith without works is dead. They will grow up in a world that can be cold and uncaring. Even though it was already quite corrupt when I was growing up, sometimes it felt hopeless to find like-minded people with good hearts. My children will face even tougher circumstances in society, but I want them to know that it’s not entirely hopeless. God leads you to the people who are meant to be in your life.
Even though I have lived a very secluded existence for protection as an extremely psychic being, He has brought me the most wonderful friends who accept me for who I am. I love them wholeheartedly for who they are as well.
* Thank you, Tobias, for being such a beautiful person. You are truly wonderful. Your presence has brought light to my path. Just having you as my friend, seeing your supportive comments, and knowing that you have my back has provided me with strength and encouragement over the years. I am proud of everything you have accomplished in terms of wisdom and your own gifts, and I am proud of everything you are as a person and a spiritual being.
Spiritually Awkward 