Welcome back to my online diary.
Thank you for taking the time to read it. In this entry, I wanted to explain something I started doing just a month ago. I began highlighting students who have significantly grown. However, I’m not only going to focus on the growth of students but also on the beauty of friendships that I’ve made throughout this journey.
Why, I’m Documenting This…
The Lord says that when you love, you love without conditions. That means that you don’t nitpick. You don’t look for wrong. There is no jealousy. There is no reason, that you love a person. He says that it doesn’t matter what a person does you, or what they do for you or don’t, you just love people. That’s how he is. And so that’s how he taught me to be. And it’s funny because I’ve received some nasty comments on YouTube putting me down for my visions saying it’s ungodly, but yet here is a person that is belittling another person in the name of God? It makes utterly no sense. People that think they’re so self-righteous because they follow a religion, that they can belittle or hurt other people, have no idea what the love of God is about. God’s love is endless, and it’s without the conditions that mankind places upon it.
And for every person that I have come to work with, I have always had that kind of unconditional love work, even if they didn’t show it back in return to me. Humans have trouble, knowing how to truly love unconditionally. But throughout my journey, I have had the honor of meeting a few people That I wanted to highlight here, because this will serve as a testimony someday, maybe perhaps my kids can look back on and have hope and humanity. And even for my friends, they can come back and read it and remember how much they were loved. That’s not to say that I am implying anything is going to happen to me right now, lol. But I am getting older so I would like to leave meaningful things in place.
As a little girl, I had no one. I only had my parents, who protected me because of my gifts and sensitivities. The Lord told me when I was young that I would not have many friends because of Him and because of the way that I am. As an Oracle, it’s very hard to get close to others—not only because I can read into them so deeply that it’s very difficult to bond over the things I see lying beneath the surface, but it’s also difficult for the other individual.
Imagine being friends with someone who is always shifting back and forth between different states of consciousness. I’m not talking about consciousness in terms of being sleepy, wide awake, or super hyper; I’m talking about being a whole other entity. Or imagine sleeping over at someone’s house, and all they do is talk about invisible people that you can’t see or something God has said? Or how about having a fun time playing board games and laughing over jokes, only to suddenly see that person burst into tears because they just witnessed something tragic in a vision? Or even worse, imagine that person freaking out and screaming because the vision of something horrible happening somewhere in the world seems so real that they can’t differentiate between reality and the vision… for that moment- causing them to scream in horror and become inconsolable?
Most people would think that the person was a nut job, right?
I understood the Lord when He told me why I wouldn’t have friends. But I also didn’t have much family either. Therefore, He always told me that family isn’t just about who you’re blood-related to, but that connections go much deeper than that.
As an Oracle, when I read someone, I know basically everything about them—from their past lives to what they did in this life, what they’re about now, what they’re thinking, and even the deep, dark things they hide. In just a few moments, I feel like I’ve known that person for an entire lifetime, even more deeply than their closest friends and family know them. Most people who meet me feel the love and know that they’re accepted. They can sense a familiarity because they feel that I know them. Many people in their first reading with me say things like, “Nobody knows me better than you; you just told me my whole life in one reading!”
For others, it’s very easy to connect with me and feel the love, but they don’t get to know me as deeply as I know them, since they don’t have the ability to read as I do. Therefore, they can’t really see deep into me, like I do for them and my great love, can be so overwhelming. They don’t understand why I love them so much so fast. Because of that, their bond to me, may not be as strong as my bond to them.
The Lord was right about me not having friends—at least, not many in person. I feel that He kept me secluded solely for His work. It was a lonely life, but He always told me that when I got older and began my mission to help others, He would lead wonderful people into my path. Not just so that I could teach them, but because I finally had a chance to love others and make friends with people who were genuinely like-minded, or who would become like-minded.
I don’t think people truly realize how important they are to me. I waited my entire life to meet others who could understand the true concept of unconditional love and acceptance, as well as those who genuinely wish to contribute to the greater good they want to see in the world. I longed to meet others who would come to love God as much as I do, or at least try. they didn’t have to even believe in the same exact thing.
In this work, I’ve read thousands of people around the globe and have conducted countless readings. According to my beloved friend Rishi, whom I highlighted on this website, I had over 2,700 files in the client portal alone, and that was after I had already deleted some. The portal was created in 2016. Yes, I started my work as a child, helping people personally, but when I transitioned online, I began in 2013. I have far more files than just 2,700! I’ve uploaded countless readings to OneDrive, Dropbox, emails, and Google Drive. I can’t believe how many readings I’ve actually done! Not only have all those personal readings come true, but my predictions about the world have been so eerily accurate that I sometimes scare myself.
This Mission
I often ask the Lord why He chose me. In essence, I know why, but I will never fully feel worthy enough to be good enough for someone of such great love and power to bring truth to me. I may be angelic but I’m also just some small town girl from New Jersey. Yes, I have strived, even through adversity, to purify myself and be the most perfect person I can be—not on the outside, but on the inside. and that’s because of my great love for God and for other people. If I’m the best that I can be, then I’m the best I can be for all of them. and I also know that most of everything here on earth is playing out bogus. The way that people look at things, the way that they treat each other, the emotions that come up, sometimes, judgment, lack of foresight, greed, and all the other sins… That’s truly shown me that being my better self and saying, innocent, is more valuable to me than anything earth could ever offer. I never want to be like other people. it’s not worth losing yourself, to all of the drama and chaos that the world and other people bring. Instead, there is a greater love that most people can come to know, that can heal, and change your life forever.
I wanted to show others that they could do that too. I wanted them to learn the truth that God offers, to see what happens in the world around them, and to truly become believers. Moreover, I wanted them to recognize the goodness within themselves. everybody’s been hurt and traumatized in someway, great or small. Howcan anyone really know who they are aside from everything? I can see deep down the great potential inside of people, that they have. It’s not that I want to change them because I see that, it’s because I know that it would make them truly happy. My love for them wants them to have that happiness. I want them to see that they could change the things that brought them difficulties or inner pain and suffering. If I could show them where they were hurting or flawed, insecure, or uncertain, we could take those shadows and transform them into brighter light. After all, shadows always bring trials and tribulations. People don’t deserve to live with depression; they don’t deserve to struggle or feel unfulfilled or alone.
Full Of Gratitude
Even though I had no friends, I’ve always had God and the angels, and for that, I’ve had a fulfilling life. But that didn’t mean I didn’t want human interaction.
Even though everyone who has come to know me has loved me and stood by my side—accepting who I am, what I do, and the things I know and see—it can be very difficult for them. If you lived with me for a month, you would see for yourself. Yet, so many people have shown me their love, and for that, I am incredibly thankful. I still remain secluded, distant, and alone, but I’m okay with that. I understand that this is how things have to be. I know that one day I will have a huge beautiful spiritual family to reconnect with, perhaps in the next world, maybe even including some of you. And I do have my kids, my dog, and a few great friends. That’s what I wanted to share with you all about.
One of them.
As a result of everything I’ve shared, I want people to know that I understand what it truly means to value others. This understanding deepened even more after the loss of my entire family in 2019. When I say my entire family, I mean my entire family: my pop-pop, my dad, my dad’s younger brother, his older brother, and his nephew. My mother’s brother died, her other brother passed away just a few years before that, and her nephew also died. As for my other relatives, we were never really close enough to keep in touch. However, due to the losses and the lonely life I lived growing up, every single person I’ve encountered on this journey has been meaningful to me, even if I’ve only read them once.
For those I’ve really connected with—those I’ve spent years guiding, teaching, and being friends with—I don’t think they’ll ever fully know how much I treasure each and every one of them.
That’s why I wanted to make it a point to start highlighting some of those people, including my students who have come far on the illumination pathway. Many times, people come here just to praise me, but I want everyone to know that I’m not looking for praise. I post to foster meaningful discussions and to hear everyone’s thoughts. Sure, it’s nice to receive a compliment or two, but that’s not what’s most important. I’m here to inspire, motivate, and discuss. I don’t want it to always appear that it’s all about me. Sure, it’s my work and my vision, and I’ll defend those visions until the day I die, but I’m here for all of you. Love goes both ways, and while I value the support and I need it, I’m not just here to gain your support like some other influencers. Some of them don’t even engage with their following. I can’t imagine how they can earn respect or loyalty from so many followers if they don’t even pay them any mind. Yet here I invest my time and love into my community, even if it’s just a few people. I know it’s because the Lord led me to those I was meant to connect with.
Most of the time, everyone comes here to show me support and praise, but there are so many of you who deserve to be truly seen and heard. So many of you are talented and have come so far on your journey that you’re now much wiser. Some have even blossomed into their own special gifts, while others I have helped expand their existing abilities. I can’t believe how lucky I have been that the Lord has sent me to so many beautiful people through this work. I never expected to be famous. In fact, there was a client of mine who used to be in the circle and once told me she was only around because she thought I was going to get somewhere. When I didn’t, she ditched me.
I was never looking for fame, and even though we’re all trying to survive, I’m not looking for fortune either. I just want to share my message and meet amazing people. From day one, it has been about spreading wisdom and truth and finding people who care about what truly matters. Over the years, I’ve watched so many people decline into superficiality and lose their sense of interconnectedness. I was the one who predicted that would happen with the indoor generation video on YouTube and in many other blogs. People don’t realize they’re being used as weapons and tools to strip empathy and emotion from mankind. Knowing this would happen since childhood, I have always sought to meet people who aspire to be good—not just perfect—but who genuinely care about others, about harmony, and about God. I never cared about what religion they followed or what they called their God; I just wanted to find people who shared a love for the same ideals, even if expressed in different names and ways. I wanted to help expand that knowledge and not just provide the manufactured information found in books. I truly wanted to share real truths and help guide others through life with authenticity. I have had that opportunity throughout this wonderful journey.
In one of my blogs, I mentioned Rishi and how important he has been to my path. In another post on Facebook, I mentioned my student Avrina. Many, many times… I’ve mentioned Bella. There are still more people I would like to highlight, but in this post, I would like to talk about my beloved friend Toby.
My Gift In Knowing Toby
I’m proud to be both teacher and friend to Tobias.
Believe it or not, I have known Toby much longer than many of you—longer than even Bella, to be honest. Toby and I first crossed paths on my YouTube channel back in 2013. From the very beginning, we discovered that we shared a lot in common. I love that Tobias has always been open and accepting. While we didn’t become best friends right away, and at first we didn’t see eye to eye always. Yet, over time we cultivated a strong friendship that I now consider as close as family.
What an extraordinary person. Maybe not always understood, but exceptionally smart, bright, great conversation, and warm to be around. Toby always puts herself last for others. She even goes the extra mile of perseverance and endurance, just to help the people that she loves. Knowing what it’s like to love unconditionally, both Toby and I have always looked for other people that could love us just as much as we love others, but both of us have had difficulty in doing so because of how human beings can sometimes be. The human perspective not only holds people back from enlightenment but it holds them back from experiencing the interconnectedness that we all share.
No matter how far away we live from each other, Toby has always stayed by my side knowing that’s its in the soul that our connection matters. Its been a gift and relief to find someone who truly grasps this. As an angelic I’ve tried to show people that time and distance don’t matter, and so those illusions shouldn’t keep us apart. Toby understood this.
Most people know that it’s very difficult for me to talk on the phone because I pick up on so many different energies. I can sense your background thoughts and feel the spiritual energies in the room with you. I can even tell who has been with you that day. If you were feeling nervous or depressed before our conversation, I feel that too. Because of this, I’ve limited my communications to text messages or emails over the years. I know it has been frustrating for many, as miscommunications often arise in texts, and some people long for a more personal approach. However, Tobias and a few others have stood by me, accepting me for who I am and valuing any communication we can share. She didn’t abandon me just because we can’t speak on the phone. If she didn’t accept my limited communication, I would truly have no one to talk to. Its the same with a few others. and I thank God for them all every day, even though there are only a few. 
Both of my adult children have moved on with their lives, and although they come home occasionally, I have my two youngest children here. Aside from them and my mother, there is really no one else in my life. Most people wouldn’t understand why I can’t talk on the phone. I had a friend I grew up with, someone I’ve known since I was 12, who would always try to call me. I just couldn’t answer, knowing the energy surrounding him. It wasn’t that I was judging him; rather, if I didn’t have my own stable frequency to rely on, it could throw me in many different directions, opening me up to a flood of overwhelming sensations. He would often get upset, but many times he would settle for text messages. Yet he still didn’t fully understand my situation. Even though he knew who I was and what I did, he wasn’t deeply spiritual himself, which made it difficult for him to truly grasp my perspective.
In contrast, Tobias and a few others have genuinely opened their hearts and minds to see things from my viewpoint. It’s not that I’m trying to be selfish or avoid phone calls with those I love—I would cherish that. But it’s challenging for me to experience the visions and energies that surround me every day. Toby has always accepted me for who I am and what I can offer in terms of communication.
I know that many others have supported me, so if you’re reading this and you’re one of them, please don’t feel excluded. I recognize everyone’s contributions, believe me. But truthfully, Tobias and a few others have worked tirelessly to share my message. Even to this day, every time I go online, Toby, along with Ena, has shared something of mine. It’s not just occasionally; it’s every single time. And for years!
So many others have dropped off the face of the Earth, stopped showing support, and they don’t even at least try to be my friend. At least a friend? With all of the bonds that I’ve made with people while working with them so personally over time, reading them, advising them, teaching them, you would think that once they’ve gotten the knowledge that they wanted, that they would still stick around to click a lot a “like”, or even just text me to say “hello” on my website. But many of them don’t. Like there’s no one. It’s really strange.
I know I have only ever been true and loving.
Yet Toby, and a few others have remained such good friends that they still act like one, trying to help me with what I’m good at, while I praise them with what they’re good at. We all have our own talent and jobs. 
Toby even drove all of the way to attend my baby shower to support me during a new beginning in my life, and has made it a point to visit me once a year to ensure that we always have time to connect, even if just briefly. That’s right, Toby visits even if it’s just for an hour to grab a quick bite to eat. It blows my mind, the kindness. Please don’t get me wrong, I have offered to meet Toby halfway lol. But Toby figures I’m always so busy and I’m channeling all of the time, that being a friend that really loves me and wants to see me, she makes sure that she does. While although I do need to be able to schedule and set things up properly so that there aren’t any miscommunications or mishaps, it was very endearing each time. There I am each time, just looking at Toby and thinking to myself, “What a wonderful person to care about me that much”. And I would thank God in my heart to know someone like that.
What a true friend—to drive so far just to share a meal with someone! I’ve been continually blown away by Toby’s kindness and love for years. I know that Toby didn’t always have the same outlook, in the beginning, but the understanding of unconditional love has really become a part of her. And I can’t say that I’m proud enough, to see that. 
Last year, when Bella had an event in New York City, she tried to include me as a featured artist. I thought it was so nice of her to do that, as she just tries to include me in everything that’s going on in her life. She’s one of my greatest friends too. However, since it was at a bar/restaurant, I didn’t want to bring too many spiritual people there. Bella has worked so hard on her own path, and I wanted the event to shine a light on her work and her project. She’s always there to vouch for me, and so I wanted it to be all about her that time. Yet, when Toby saw that I was mentioned, she drove all the way there to support me.
As you know, many people follow me online, but many fail to comment, share my work, or even feel ashamed to admit they believe in me. So, I didn’t really expect anyone to be there for me, honestly. People are often too quick to try to take advantage of my prophecies and wisdom rather than support me. I didn’t really advertise the event for myself and with the amount of people that I’ve worked with in the New York area, I really could’ve had quite a few people there. But I knew in my heart that even if I had really promoted it, or invited people, that not a lot of people would’ve probably showed up anyway. Oddly enough right?
When I walked into the room and looked around, there was Toby sitting right there. That day, I had been picking up on all of the energies out there in New York, and knowing I was going to be in a room full of people that I didn’t know, and that I would easily read into them, it was really overwhelming.  But what was more overwhelming in a positive way, was realizing that Toby was such a true friend to come all that way just to sit beside me during what was a rather uncomfortable event—no offense to Bella—and to talk with me while we passed the time. The event wasn’t uncomfortable because of Bella or anything. She always does such a great job on everything that she does and always tries to make sure that I’m comfortable too. It was just that I’m very sensitive, as I say all of the time. 
Bella did a lovely job on the event by the way…
Toby has sent gifts to my children too. I don’t think people can imagine how lonely it is when the holidays come up, and it’s just me and the kids here. There’s no aunts, no uncles, no cousins. There aren’t any grandparents for them either. Even though my mom is alive and well , she doesn’t spend any time with them. And so, the holidays can feel a little sad. But yet, Toby, and a few others never forget to send presents for the kids, which uplifts not only me, but my children too. It’s so selfless.
Whenever I check my YouTube videos, posts, or blogs, I always look for Tobias. She is my light at the end of the tunnel, along with Bella and a few others, because I know that they and Toby are true friends. Knowing that Toby is always there gives me the encouragement to keep doing what I’m doing. Not only Toby, but many of you who follow and support me, give me the strength to continue this mission, striving to change the world for the better, one soul at a time. Do you remember “One soul at a time” used to be my old slogan?
Toby has gone the extra mile for me so many times, and I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that in this blog.
If anything ever happens to me in this world and the time comes when I’m no longer here, I want to leave behind this diary with all of my dreams, thoughts, knowledge, my experiences with God, and my experience in being a service to others. But I also want the journey to reflect the meaningful bonds I have created.
I’ll be featuring others in the future, but today I just wanted to express how proud I am to know Toby. I had just provided some insights to Toby, and all of this came up in my heart afterwards. On top of that, I’ve been pleading with my audience to comment and help to push my videos out there, so I can reach other people. And every single time, Toby, Bella, ad Ena have all been the first to comment for me. I’m so thankful for the help, and it reminded me of how lucky I am in this journey that there are a few people in this world that truly not only believed in me for my gifts and knowledge, but loved me as a real friend.
Toby is incredibly gifted and talented in art, music, graphics, and computers—too many talents to list. More importantly, Toby is one of the most loving and accepting individuals I have ever met. The world often focuses on the wrong things, missing out on the beauty of genuine people and real change.
While Toby may be eccentric and quirky at times, she has been a true and beloved friend. Throughout the years, while Toby has been learning with me, it has been challenging to find people who truly understand the depth of what I am teaching. Yet, Toby is one of the few who has genuinely grasped it. Many people don’t comprehend Toby’s posts, as she often communicates in a secretive way, but that’s okay. Anyone who is truly open-minded will understand; if they don’t, then it simply wasn’t meant to be. I tend to be a bit more transparent, but I often speak in parables too, using symbolism and metaphor to convey truth. That’s why I can relate to Toby, and she understands me as well.
With everything I have taught in terms of illumination and enlightenment, I am proud to say that Tobias has come so far. With her example and the example of a few others, I can genuinely say I’ve made a positive impact in this world.
Toby is also naturally gifted; many of my students have expanded their abilities, and Toby already had some gifts when we met. I remember that when I first met Toby, she shared about her spiritual encounters. Over the years, I have been consistently amazed by the drawings Toby has shared, capturing experiences I have had. I haven’t always let her know, but I have been truly impressed. I believe that our gifts combined could make a significant difference in the world in many ways. Perhaps we could have collaborated on police work, with me describing a suspect while Toby drew the likeness. Maybe we’ll have a chance to do something together in another experience.
Being a teacher to someone as wonderful as Toby has been an honor and a gift in itself. But it has also been a gift in return to have her friendship, acceptance, and love.
I’ll conclude with this: I want everyone to know that there are people I truly cherish here. I love and value each one of you, even those who may be reading this and haven’t connected with me personally yet. I feel all of you. I even sense my enemies lurking around, and I have love for them as well. But it’s not all about me. The Lord sent me here to teach everyone else, and though I may not have millions of followers, I have had the privilege of meeting some of the most beautiful souls on this planet, and Toby is undoubtedly one of them.
There are many others I’ll be talking about in the future.
That’s right—if you’re reading this and you’ve worked with me and have been a friend, it’s very likely that one of these will be written about you too.
Someday, I want to look back on this and remember this beautiful journey, or leave it for you to reflect on when I’m no longer here. I also want my children to read this, so they can understand that faith without works is dead. They will grow up in a world that can be cold and uncaring. Even though it was already quite corrupt when I was growing up, sometimes it felt hopeless to find like-minded people with good hearts. My children will face even tougher circumstances in society, but I want them to know that it’s not entirely hopeless. God leads you to the people who are meant to be in your life.
Even though I have lived a very secluded existence for protection as an extremely psychic being, He has brought me the most wonderful friends who accept me for who I am. I love them wholeheartedly for who they are as well.
* Thank you, Tobias, for being such a beautiful person. You are truly wonderful. Your presence has brought light to my path. Just having you as my friend, seeing your supportive comments, and knowing that you have my back has provided me with strength and encouragement over the years. I am proud of everything you have accomplished in terms of wisdom and your own gifts, and I am proud of everything you are as a person and a spiritual being.
Spiritually Awkward 